The Resident Curmudgeon

Keystone Pipeline

2012-01-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

The dingbats are at it again. Apparently in the dingbat world, you can say anything without regard for facts. This often leads to some really stupid pronouncements carried on national media.

One of the dingbat poobahs, speaking on national television, stated that the Keystone Pipeline was absolutely necessary to reduce our dependence on "foreign oil." Looks like this particular politician is a spokesman for the "awl bidness" as they say in Texas. But I have to wonder what rock he lives under.?

This pipeline is designed to carry sour crude, extracted from Alberta tar sand, to refineries in the Houston area. Last time I checked the atlas, Alberta is in Canada and Canada is not in the United States. Ipso facto, this will be "foreign oil."

This pipeline is designed to cross the Ogallala Aquifer, the major source for water in the central US. A bad leak in that area would prove disastrous.

Those target refineries are clustered in the Houston area. That makes it very convenient for a major hurricane, or terrorist action to take them all out. For what this pipeline is going to cost, it seems to me that it would be cheaper to build a new refinery in Wyoming.

As for the claim that no tax payer money will be involved, if you believe that, I have some Las Vegas real estate and some Nigerian treasury bonds I will sell you at a real good price.

Political polling

2012-01-15T17:02:00.000-08:00

To all you pollsters out there busy earning your fees. I have some very important news for you. I'm writing this very slowly, so you can understand it.

You have bombarded me with your poll results, three or four or even more every day. If a candidate so much as hiccups you produce a new poll supposedly explaining how this will affect the voting decision for some obscure section of the electorate.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

So what if your latest poll shows that 3.28% of red-headed step-children registered as independents and living in the three westernmost counties of South Carolina are still undecided?

I DON'T CARE!

I am very patient, and happily willing to wait until election night to find out all these exciting things. So please go someplace else. Maybe in Finland, or China or perhaps in southern Tasmania the natives might be interested in such drivel. So do us all a favor. Go there!

A Travesty

2011-12-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

There seems to be a common thread in the news concerning any major university. It goes like this:

University cuts faculty and staff.

Programs eliminated or drastically curtailed.

Tuition increased.

Football coach gets a million dollar raise.

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that there is a major problem here. The regents have collectively lost their ever-loving minds!

Maybe it is time we got our priorities straight.

More Dingbat idiocy

2011-12-22T11:32:00.000-08:00

The Head Dingbat has now proposed another example of sheer idiocy. The Gingrich wants Congress (presumably he means the House) to have the power to subpoena so-called "activists" judges to appear before Congress where they would be forced to explain their rulings in certain cases.

I don't know about you but this sounds like a Star Chamber proceeding to me. Somebody needs to take The Gingrich aside and explain to him about the Constitution.

Of course the reasoning behind the judges' rulings are contained in their written opinions. Maybe the Dingbats don't read too well? Maybe they don't understand the legal terminology and want it explained in more simple terms? Maybe they just want more time before the TV cameras?

Such a proposal could have merit, IF it included one other provision. The Federal Courts should have the power to subpoena Congress, or members thereof, to explain why they passed some totally stupid legislation, or why they caved in to pressure from lobbyists, or just why they have failed to perform their elected duties.

Our Constitution provides for three separate but equal branches of government. What is fair for one should be equally fair for another.

Go Green

2011-11-23T14:25:00.000-08:00

Go GREEN---recycle Congress.

That’s the latest quip floating around on Facebook. But, really thinking about it, this might well be good advice. Since our present Congress has repeatedly demonstrated that they are incapable of performing their duties, maybe it is time to replace them. Were this a business, and we had hired a crew to perform some tasks, and they proved incompetent or venal or just plain stupid, we would fire them and go look for replacements.

Of course there is a down side to this. What might we get as replacements? When we were discussing local elections, my old Daddy gave me some sound advice. He said “Boy, always vote for the incumbent. He has already stolen all he’s going to get. A replacement would have to start fresh, and it would cost more in the long run.” What we might get as replacements could be a major disappointment.

I am constantly amazed at some of the statements coming from the dingbats. Now they are attributing “mystical powers” to President Obama. Just recently I heard another reference to “Obama’s Afghanistan War.” I was around at the time, and I’m sure that war started in 2002, long before he was elected. I have also seen references to “Obama’s TARP Program” you know, the one that was started during the last year of the Bush Administration. Any President with the powers to do things like that even before he is elected is one we probably should keep. Those sorts of powers might come in handy.

Just today I heard the ultimate in Dingbat mendacity. This came from the Romney campaign, which I thought would have had more class. They took an excerpt from a speech by President Obama in 2008, where he was quoting a statement by an aide to Senator McCain. They very conveniently omitted that part of the speech where President Obama stated he was quoting the aide, to make it appear that this was a factual statement by the president. Now that is the epitome of low-class dirty politics. The idiots should have known the media would check this out and expose their perfidy. They don’t care! There are lots of people out there who will believe this sort of lie. Heaven help us if the Dingbats get in power!

Science is not a Liberal conspiracy.

Dingbat humor

2011-10-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

I stand corrected. I feared that this political season would prove to be bereft of humor. That would be a dismal prospect, for there certainly is no worthwhile humor on commercial TV. But, I am pleased to report, that the dingbat candidates have introduced a marvelous brand of humor into the campaigns. I guess we can call this brand of humor “listen to what I say but don’t believe a word of it because I’m going to contradict it in the next sentence.” You have to listen fast and loose, because any truth in any statement is fleeting.

During the Las Vegas debates, how many times did we hear this sequence: “The government is too big, too intrusive, too complicated, and must be cut back, reduced or eliminated?” Then the next sentence was: “The government should be doing more about this problem, or spending more on that problem.” Make up your mind dingbats!

It is amusing how the same people who rant about how government is so intrusive are perfectly willing to have the government dictate how we think or what we believe. If the dingbats have their way, your ideas about same-sex marriage or abortion will be rigidly controlled. They would pass laws telling you what you can believe. That is a croc! As my old grand-daddy said, “ain’t nobody gonna tell me what I can think.”

One of the other really humorous items concerns taxes. Now, this is not normally a funny subject. Nobody likes to talk or even think about taxes. But a couple of the dingbats have introduced some humor into this discussion. They didn’t intend to introduce humor into this rather serious subject, but it happened. Now, it is well known to anyone who has followed all the debates, discussions, forums, interviews or any other means used to introduce personal beliefs, that the dingbats are not great supporters of education. They also seem to demonstrate a deficiency about simple arithmetic. I’m not talking rocket science here, or even math, just simple number manipulation. They have proposed the infamous 9-9-9 plan, or a “flat rate tax plan,” Both are regressive, more onerous on the lower income groups, but their proponents just can’t seem to grasp this.. Here is a simple example: family A has a gross income of $30,000 per year; family B has one of $100,000. Both families buy $100 worth of groceries. The tax for each is $9.00. But for family A, that is .0003% of their annual income. For family B, that is .00009% of their income. What is so difficult to understand about this? Any flat rate tax hurts the lower income classes more.

“Two-Gun” Perry firmly believes that the only solution to all our problems is to support (turn loose) the “awl bidness” as they say in Texas. “Drill, Baby, Drill” is his motto. Of course if we follow his advice, in 4-5 years we might have some improvement, at least in Texas, but also a hell of a lot more pollution. But then, that’s the price one must pay for success.

Also, the head lady dingbat has chimed in with a solution to all the health care problems. According to her, we don’t need any form of government sponsored health care. The hospitals and various charitable organizations have enough money on hand that they can take care of all the indigent people. Now that would be hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic. Do these people think, or is this merely propaganda learned but not understood?

I suppose if you listened to FOX News all day, then you too could memorize and then repeat outrageous statements, incorrect facts or just plain lies.

The Republican dilemma

2011-10-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

I almost feel sorry for the Republican dingbats. They have some serious problems, and apparently no idea how to solve them. Some of their problems are self-inflicted, but others just because history has caught up with them.

One of their problems is rather comical. They are having just one hell of a time trying to remember all the things they used to be against but now favor, and vice versa. Maybe someone should build them a good cheat sheet. Of course that assumes they can read.

The Congressional dingbats have another problem. They can’t decide where their allegiance lies. Is it to America, to the district that elected them, or to Grover Norquist. This could evolve into a real problem if their electorate begins to get a little nervous. Another election for the House is always just around the corner.

Now the dingbats have a new problem. Religion has reared its ugly head into the primary campaigns. I, for one, welcome this. I was getting a bit bored with the campaign since Sarah is out and Michelle has disappeared off the radar. I depended on those two for some comic relief. But now we will be entertained by some fanatical “religious” persons saying some rather stupid things in a most pious manner. Some of these I define as self-proclaimed born-again, holier than thou, I’m right and you’re wrong sanctimonious windbags.

The fun here has already started. Poor Rick Perry, who has not scored well in the debates, had to find a spokesman. Who else could he find than a Southern Baptist preacher from Dallas? If you understand Texas politics, you know this is natural. But, in the process of attacking Milt Romney and his Mormon Religion, they have accidently or not attacked all other Protestants. Listen carefully to what this preacher says. By his definition of what constitutes a “Christian” he excludes most all the other protestant churches. This may become interesting.

It is also interesting to watch how the dingbats can ignore the problem of unemployment. I have yet to hear of any proposal for job creation from that side of the aisle. They just can’t seem to realize that job must be created. Action is required! All I am hearing is the same disproven platitudes that if we just eliminate all business regulations and reduce all taxes then everything will be fine. The best economists calculate that this action would show some results by 2015. It is Reagenomics all over again. Big business prosperity will trickle down to the working class. That much is true, but now the working class is in China or India.

They also can’t grasp the concept that massive budget reductions involve massive lay-offs of personnel. We have enough unemployment now. Why add to it?

Oh well, the next few months may be fun.

Dingbat mendacity

2011-08-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

In normal times, I like to watch MSNBC, FOX and CNN news, hopefully to get a balanced view of current events. I find I can no longer watch FOX, because I can’t stand the distortions, false innuendos and outright lies they promulgate.

In the past week, I have been told about a vast conspiracy concerning President Obama’s birthplace; I have heard sly references to the “death squads” who are going to call Grandma and Grandpa in for a conference to determine if they will be allowed to live any longer; the pundits have discussed Obama’s wars; the so-called historians have pontificated about the failure of Obama’s TARP program; and they are crying great crocodile tears all about how the Administration has brought us to financial ruin.

Do you suppose the dingbats are really that stupid? Can they not read? Have they not been paying attention for the past 7-8 years? Yet they say these things with great sincerity, as if that will somehow make it true. Think about it! The “birther” and “deather” conspiracies were disproved a long time back. The wars were started under the previous administration. The first TARP program will before the last Presidential Election. The present financial crisis originated 5-6 years ago because some major financial institutions did some really stupid things.

We hear a constant bleating of the dingbat’s mantras: you know, No more taxes; smaller government; reduction of expenditures; change the Constitution; and so forth. These might all be fine sentiments, but no one has bothered to explain exactly how we are supposed to do this. It’s as if we are just supposed to vote for any dingbats, and all these things will just miraculously happen. Sorry but neither life nor government works that way.

This all reminds me of George Orwell’s Animal Farm. There, the ruling pigs had to come up with something simple the sheep could remember and repeat, over and over. In that case, it was “four legs good, two legs bad.” For the current crop of dingbats, I would propose: “Ideology over Reality” except I doubt many of them would understand it. Too many seem to suffer from a bad case of “facto prohibito” which loosely translates as “don’t confuse me with facts.”

JOBS

2011-08-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Much has been trumpeted recently about jobs. The dingbats constantly yell that we must do something to stimulate (that’s a dirty word) job creation. The problem is that I don’t think they really understand what they say. So, let’s have a short lesson in Economics 101.

There are only two classes of jobs. Private industry, which we will call P, and Government, we call G. There is a third group, the unemployed, we call U. These three then make up the total work force, or WF. So we have a simple formula: P+G+U=WF.

This simple formula applies whether we are talking about a city, county, state or nation. It will always be in equilibrium.

WF will constantly change. It will increase as people reach employable age, or graduate from college, etc., and will decrease as people die or retire. No matter, P, G and U must change to stay in balance. Ideally we would like our formula to look like this:

P + G + U = WF. Private industry is hiring; government employment is shrinking, and unemployment is low. But we’re not there.

Private industry is not hiring. Why? There are several reasons. One, we become more efficient and automated so that fewer workers are required; Two, many of our jobs have been outsourced to other countries; and Three, we run into a paradox. Industry will not expand (and hire) until there is a demand for its products. With so many unemployed, there is little demand simply because people do not have the money to spend.

Now the dingbats want to cut government programs. So, if we suddenly decrease G, by canceling programs or departments, then P must expand hiring or U will increase to maintain the balance. The same holds true if industry, P, lays off workers. Either G or U must expand.

Another erroneous assumption is that we can realize immediate savings by an immediate reduction in the size of government. This doesn’t wash. Suppose we decide to do away with the EPA (the dingbats really hate this entity) and lay off 30,000 workers. Surely this will generate immediate savings. No! First, these are probably all covered under Civil Service. This would be a RIF (Reduction in Force) so they would be entitled to severance pay. Then, they are eligible for unemployment benefits. They will pay less income tax. They will generate less sales tax, since they cannot afford to buy much. In the short run, where are the savings? Yes, there are great savings to be realized by reformation of government, but they must be the result of a slow, gradual and planned reduction so not to overload the ranks of the unemployed.

To be truthful, since we are in a recession, our formula probably looks more like this:

P + G + U = WF. Industry is not hiring, so unemployment is rising. Government employment has stayed relatively stable, but will soon decrease. When that happens, we will see: P + G + U = WF. And that is the formula for a depression.

Our last full depression was greatly alleviated by government stimulus programs, but only fully corrected by WWII. Is that the dingbats’ final solution?

What debt crisis?

2011-07-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

To paraphrase Churchill, "never in the field of human endeavor has so much been said by so many about so little." This farce is about to wind down. Thank goodness! In this process we have managed to create a non-existent problem; shoot ourselves in the foot; make the entire US look totally stupid in the eyes of the rest of the world and waste thousands of hours arguing back and forth, and in general, look totally stupid!

Sometime I think our elected congressmen should not be allowed out of the house without a keeper. They just don't seem to be able to understand the consequences. As one noted economics professor put it, Failure to pay our bills wold signal to the world that U.S. politics are so dysfunctional that we can't even avoid serious and unnecessary self-inflicted wounds. And if we can't avoid a self-inflicted wound, the world financial markets will just freak out.

It is now difficult to remember that all that was required was a one paragraph bill that changed some numbers. This was not new taxes. It was not new expenditures. It was merely to pay for things already purchased. The dingbats had to turn this into a major media event. And in order to enjoy their misbegotten sense of power, they may well really hurt out standing in the international financial markets. How stupid can we be?

Personally I wish the President had invoked the 14th Amendment (which many of the dingbats claim does not really exist), raised the debt limit and maybe let our congress get back to the problem of jobs. That might still happen.

Do you suppose the dingbats clap each other on the back and brag about how they have screwed the public once again?

Christian Socialism

2011-07-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Christian Socialism. That sound like an oxymoron. The dingbats yell constantly about how they want "small" government. In their liturgy, a government that doesn't, in any way, interfere with the functions of big business. Yet, at the same time, they want this streamlined government to dictate how we think and act according to their standards.

As you listen to the dingbats all across the US, you begin to understand exactly what they want: they want the government to outlaw abortion; they want the voting requirements changed so only "correct" people can vote; they want to ensure that only "creationism" is taught in schools; they want to abolish many aspects of our religious freedoms; they would restrict our traditional freedom of speech if what we might want to say doesn't agree with their tenets; they want to ignore parts of our Constitution that do not agree with their assumptions.

What else can we call this? We are dealing with fanatical evangelicals whose motto is: If you don't agree with me 100% then you're going to hell.

Dingbatitis

2011-07-25T18:33:00.000-07:00

All day I have listened to the dingbats yelling how "the government has failed" or "the government can't solve our problems" or "the government is too big and must be reduced in size."

Sounds real good. But as soon as we have some catastrophe, such as a flood, a hurricane or a tornado, what do we hear? "The government ain't doing enough for us" or "the government should be doing (fill in the blank)."

Sorry! You can't have it both ways. This reminds me something that happened during a public hearing on zoning in a western county. One old farmer stood up and declaimed "Ain't nobody gonna tell me what I can do with my land, but don't you let my neighbor put a pig farm on his."

Make up your minds, dingbats.

Fractured Politics

2011-07-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

For many years I have prided myself on being totally non-partisan. I would never allow a political party to dictate to me how I should vote. I am long registered as “unaffiliated”, and I vote for the man/woman I feel is best qualified for the job. I have voted for democrats, republicans, socialists, progressives or what have you.

Times have changed. I would now find it very difficult to vote for a republican running for the office of county dogcatcher. Given no other choice, I would vote for an avowed communist over a republican. I truly feel that would be less dangerous to America.

It is well known that the republican party sold out to the religious right many years back. Now the party is caving in to the teabaggers. For less typing strokes, I will refer to this unholy amalgamation as the dingbats, which so aptly describes their position. To me, it seems their ultimate goal is to establish a “teaocracy” which embraces many long discredited economic policies.

I find it increasingly difficult to take these people serious! When you have dingbat leaders proclaiming on national media that the current heat wave is the result of a government conspiracy; or that the Statue of Liberty is really a Greek Goddess, and should be destroyed, or that the Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution should be ignored, or that the direct election of US Senators should be repealed or hundreds of other equally stupid pronouncements, the only response is good laugh. But then, you must stop and think: My God, what would happen if these total dingbats got into power?

One must ask: Haven’t these people ever read history? Haven’t they been paying attention the past 10 years? Maybe they have been too busy going to church or searching for evidence of new conspiracies to notice reality.

My mission? To debunk as many of their asinine ideas as possible. Some may disagree with me. Fine! Get your own blog and write what you like.

Fractured English

2011-07-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

I have long maintained that most local sports reporters could not pass 5th grade English. Here is another example.

The Sanford Herald, July 6. In an article about a local high school football team, this reporter wrote "The Jackets lost much of their offensive weapons from a team that made a deep playoff run last season to graduation,..." SAY WHAT! I never knew that playoffs were involved in high school graduations. How does this work? Does the winning team get to graduate and the loser stay another year? If you lose in the first round of the playoffs do you have to stay in school even longer? Somebody explain this to me.

How's That Again?

2011-05-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

Reading the local newspaper is a daily source of comedy. For this paper, like so many others, the concept of proof-reading before publishing is totally alien.

Great story today about an advocacy group that wants elected officials to enact legislation to prevent employers from asking questions about the criminal history of job applicants.

This group describes itself as an advocacy group for "formerly incarnated persons."

I can certainly see why an employer would not want to hire anyone who had been "incarnated" as that term means "embodied in flesh, especially in human form," such as a fiend incarnate.

Now, if the advocacy group is concerned with persons who have been previously "incarcerated" then that's a different story.

An obscene contract

2011-05-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

An article in today's paper reported on a new contract given to the basketball coach at a major university. The new coach will get a base salary of $250,000 per year. In addition, he will get an annual payment of $1.45 million for "personal services and fund raising." Looks to me like you could forget this payoff and you wouldn't need as much fund raising.

But the real kicker is this: The coach will get an annual bonus of $300,000 each May for staying another full year. Can you believe this? The man is under contract. The university will pay him a bonus for every year he doesn't break the contract! This is ridiculous! I wish VISA would pay me a bonus for every month that I pay my bill. That's part of a contract.

I think there should be another clause in that contract. The coach should pay the university an annual bonus for every year they don't fire him.

I think this is but another example of what is wrong with many American universities. They are more concerned with sports than with education.

"Birthers again"

2011-04-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, Donald Trump has just proved to the world that he is a blithering idiot! Actually I would have thought better of the boy. You would think that anybody with that much money would have a little smarts. Alas, such is not the case.

Trump has taken to heart the old, dreary, long-disproved and discredited theory that President Obama was born in Kenya (or someplace not in the US) His argument? President Obama does not have a Birth Certificate. Instead he has a Certificate of Live Birth. To Trump, that document is illegal, immoral, unethical, sinful and possibly contagious. To Trump, this is proof that it was all part of a vast conspiracy.

I would expect such stupidity from some illiterate red-neck who only believes what his preacher tells him.

My daughter was born in the Naval Hospital at Naval Air Station Memphis. She was issued a Certificate of Live Birth. This is the practice in many states. Long ago the courts determined that this is just as legal as a Birth Certificate. I would love to see Trump tell her she is somehow illegal, and not a US citizen. She would eat him alive!

I guess if you want to run for president, and think you must corral all the dingbat votes, then you can justify, to yourself, why it is necessary to be totally stupid. We can give Trump that much credit. I wonder how much money he is willing to spend to prove again that he is a total nit wit, and unfit to run anything more demanding than an automatic elevator.

Make up your mind!

2011-03-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

The hypocrisy of some so-called leaders is appalling. I often wonder how some politicians can look at themselves in a mirror, and not understand they are looking at the image of a two-faced, forked tongued liar?

For two weeks or more, some of these “leaders” have been yelling that we must do something to help the rebels in Libya. The were roundly criticizing President Obama for not taking immediate action.

The President wisely ( I think) waited until we had UN agreement. For many reasons, this is important. Only then did we take direct action.

Now these same “leaders” are yelling that he, the President, moved too fast, that he took precipitous action, that he should have referred the problem to Congress. For what? We didn’t need a declaration of war—this is a UN action. We certainly didn’t need Congress to spend several weeks to argue, which would probably have involved a filibuster or other parliamentary tactics to delay taking any action. Our Congress can’t even figure out how to keep our government running.

Being President in this climate is a case of being damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

Thought Control

2011-03-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

Are we seeing the onset of attempted “thought control?” Consider. The Radical Republicans, by using a rather sneaky maneuver, are attempting to delete any Federal funding for National Public Radio. The “stated” reason for this is to make NPR stand on its own, supported only by the public. Anyone not living under a rock can recognize the hypocrisy in such a position.

The truth of the matter, as I see it, is not that NPR has demonstrated any bias against the world view of the Radical Republicans. NO, NPR reporting is probably as objective as we are ever going to see. Of course, it is a sad commentary on America that the most objective reporting of American news is from the BBC. No, the complaint of the RR’s is that NPR is objective. RR’s don’t like this. They want 100% support, ala Fox News. They have no time for partial or limited agreement. It’s either “agree with us or you’re trash!”

In this respect they remind me of certain religious groups, whose attitude is “We’re right, and everybody else is wrong. Either completely agree with us or you’re going to hell!”

In another development, there was an ongoing study exploring the possibility of constructing a new toll road in southern Wake County. Certain groups did not want such a road built, so they got a legislator to introduce a bill to stop it. The contents of the bill are unusual. Not only does it deny any funding for construction, but also denies funding for any further study. Consider the implication of that. The message is “Not only can you not do it, you can’t even think about it.”

Shades of Brave New World or 1984. Thought control is sneaking in the door.

The Great Gasoline Scam!

2011-02-28T17:52:00.000-08:00

So now we are paying $3.30 or more per gallon. Why? Because we are getting a royal shaft.

Think about it. The price of crude at the well head has not increased. But, the traders, fearing that there MIGHT be a shortage in the future, are driving up the price investing in futures. Yes, sometime in the future they will be paying more for crude. But not now!

So why has your local gas station suddenly increased the price by $.30 or more? Because they are giving us a royal shaft! The gas in their tanks was delivered last week or even earlier. It was purchased under a contract that may have been in effect for 6 months or more. Whatever! The cost to the station has not yet increased. So why have they raised prices? Because they can and get away with it. If you ask them, they will say "Oh, the price has gone up because there is a global shortage." BALDERDASH! We have a several month reserve sitting in tankers.

What can we do about it? Nothing! Oh yes, if you could somehow get all the drivers in an area to agree not to buy from a single station, whether BP, Shell, Exxon or whoever, that would have an effect on that brand in that area. But all the other stations would continue to rake in their obscene profits.

It will be interesting to see, at the end of 2011, how many billions in profit the major oil companies are reporting.

So do you feel loved? No way! We are all getting the royal shaft, and not even getting a hug and kiss afterward.

Beware of AARP

2011-02-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

I received a very chatty email from AARP, telling me they had found an article about me in the local newspaper. That was a complete surprise to me! I hadn't given any interviews to the local paper.

They provided a long, complicated link to this so-called "article." There, I found the article, complete with a long quote from me supporting one of their pet projects. There were several sidebars supposedly explaining how I had organized a local group in support, or how I was the leading local "activist", or how I was going to Washington to lobby for their project.

There was only one thing wrong with all these "articles." They were all LIES!

That's right. Someone at AARP had made up all this crap, using my name. I wonder did they think I was so old and stupid that I was going to be impressed to see my name in print?

I probably should sue the arrogant SOB's for libel. Their actions certainly fit one of the definitions for that. Else maybe I should send them a bill for using my name in one of their lobby/advertising schemes.

One thing for sure. They are now on my permanent shit-list. I have already told them, in clear, precise language which even such ass-holes should understand, that I never want to hear or see them again.

Trust your bank?

2011-01-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

Big news this week is that a major bank, one of those scions of American industry, cheated over 4,000 military personnel on their mortgages. Not only that, but they fraudulently foreclosed on 14 homes. All this occurred while the military member was deployed to the war zone. When banks start screwing around with my military brothers, I get pissed! I can think of a whole lot of punishments I would gleefully impose on this bank. They certainly deserve to have their asses kicked.

What has the bank had to say about this? Oh, they admit they were required to reduce the mortgage for deployed personnel, but they didn't do it. Why? They're not saying. Could it be that in their greed they made a corporate decision to ignore the law, in quest of the almighty dollar? Could it be that some bank bigwig decided that the way to earn a huge bonus was to show a large profit, to hell with the fact that he was he was screwing some military people out fighting for our freedoms?

The bank has said they would process refunds. Isn't that wonderful? What about the 14 homes illegally foreclosed? Does the bank merely think that a refund will make everything right? Were I in charge, this bank would be required to purchase new homes, handle all the costs, including moving the families in, and pay a very large penalty for the pain, suffering and anxiety experienced by these families.

Of course, my Republican friends are still preaching that we must reduce or eliminate regulations on business, that these stifle the ability of corporate America to do business. Yeah, sure. What we really need are even stricter regulations to stifle the propensity of corporate America to cheat, lie and steal.

For profit schools

2010-12-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

There was an interesting article this week about how the for profit school associations have recently hired a truck-load of lobbyists. Their purpose? To influence, water down or defeat proposed regulations concerning government funding for this category of schools.

Recent investigations have reported that some of these for profit schools are nothing but diploma mills, many with horrible graduation rates and hiring potential. Too many are turning out "graduates" with little skills or knowledge, but with huge student loans. Some of these schools have a reputation for pushing government student loans, promising that students will quickly find good jobs so they can repay the loans.

The investigations also show that for many of these schools, 90% of their revenue comes from government grants and student loans. Think about that! 90% of their revenue. BUT, they don't want any government oversight. It's another case of "give us the money and then go away, so we can do what we want with it."

No dammit! If my tax money is providing their revenue, then I want to know what the hell they are doing. Otherwise, if they don't want any oversight, let them go to Goldman-Sachs, or Bank of America. These people are really good at ignoring where the money goes.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

However you may wish to say it:

Gajan Kristnaskon

Joyeux Noel

Froehliche Weihnachten

Mele Kalikimaka

Buone Feste Natalizie

God Jul

Feliz Natal

Feliz Navidad

Majority Rule

2010-12-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

I was always taught that a "majority" was one more than one-half. Since there are 100 Senators, then a majority should be 51.

In our Congress, a majority is required to pass any legislation. But in our Senate, it seems that some different mathematics are in play. There, a majority is 60!

Now let's see if I have this right. The way the Senate calculates this requirement, 50% of 100 +1 = 60.

No wonder things are so totally screwed up. Our Senators, those paragons of virtue, intelligence, morality, fidelity, honesty and integrity cannot do simple math.

Maybe it is time we sent this whole bunch back to school for remedial math, and brought in a new crew. If we do this, then one of the prerequisites to run for the office will be to demonstrate a working knowledge of basic math. There are a lot of other requirements I would like to impose upon any candidate, but I will settle for this as a starting point.

Pity the poor rich

2010-12-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Recently a Republican talking-head stated that we had to extend tax breaks for the upper 2% because this will help reduce our high unemployment. Give me a break! Does this mean that without extension of the tax reductions, the poor rich people will not be able to hire a second maid or augment their landscaping crew? We're talking about taxes on personal income, not on corporations. The jobs we need will come from companies and businesses, not from individual's staff.

The Republicans still seem to be wedded to the totally discredited theory of "trickle-down economics." You know that fallacy: give all the tax breaks to the big corporations, and the benefits will eventually trickle down to the working class. This is partially true, but in our economic environment, the working class will be in China or India.

Actually, in the past 10 years or so, we have seen this trickle-down effect in operation. Unfortunately, it didn't trickle very far--only to the top executives in the US financial sector. I haven't seen these people hiring too many additional housekeeping staff or lawn boys. Instead they all seem to be purchasing beachfront property in the Bahamas. Well, at least it helps the real estate market there.

Republican losers

2010-11-30T15:15:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting conversation (debate?) with a hard-shell Republican. He earnestly tried to convince me that I too should support his party, and should work at it as much as he did (or tried to do). I heard the usual litany of problems facing the US: unemployment; deficits; too much government control; too much involvement in foreign affairs; too many restrictions on big business and sundry other problems, large and small. He followed this with an impassioned plea that I should “join in the fight,” as he put it, to clean up the mess.

My answer was simple. “No, I don’t support losers.” He got rather upset with that, and started in on how much his party has gained in the last election, and how much more they expected to win in the next. I cut him off short. “You may have won congressional seats, but you are still losers. Yes, we are facing many problems. Yes, positive action will be required to solve them. Yes, it will be a long, difficult battle. Many difficult decisions and many unpopular actions will be required. But your party isn’t willing to even try. Your leadership has decreed that their goal is not to help America or to solve any problems, but only to make sure the present administration doesn’t solve problems or help America. What they are saying is to hell with America and her problems. If they can defeat President Obama, and make sure that no problems are solved during his leadership, then they will be a success. That’s a real chicken-shit goal! Do nothing and make sure nobody else does anything constructive. No thanks. That’s the mark of a loser, and I don’t support losers. I may be old but I’m not stupid.”

Big League Goof

2010-11-14T07:26:00.000-08:00

It is well known that the newspapers have abolished the position of proof reader. Look at any paper on any day and you can readily see the effect of this cost cutting.

It is also apparent that the wire services have followed. This little gem came from the Associated Press on November 11. The reporter was commenting on the relationship between two football players, and gave us this thoughtful insight:

"Haden lived with Newton for 1 1/2 years and considers his former roommate when the two were at Florida his best friend."

I don't know what you should call this. There is certainly a 'dangling' something or the other here. It would be difficult to take this simple statement and muddle it up any worse. Vive la educación!

Election of 2010

2010-11-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, America! You now have the best government that big money can buy.

But, don't get too euphoric about this. Remember all those millions and millions of $ that big corporations plowed into the campaigns? These are the same corporations that our Supreme Court has decided should have the same rights as people. Don't kid yourself. All that money was not a gift or a donation. Oh no! That was an advance payment, or maybe just a down payment. The bill will come later, and it will be a whopper!

So, enjoy while you can, America. You will pay in the end.

Negative ballots

2010-10-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

We have a general election coming up. Every four years we go through this whether we need to or not. We don’t really have any choice. Our Constitution says we must do this. So once again we will go through the dreary business. It’s dreary because Congress, as usual, has failed to implement the Resident Curmudgeon’s plan for reform of the election process.

The inability of Congress to understand the brilliance of my reform plan is disheartening. Of course, there are those who say that the US Senate couldn’t recognize a good idea if it jumped up and bit them. Others say that the House of Representatives are so busy running for reelection they don’t have time to consider anything of merit. For whatever reasons, they have failed to enact the most fair, innovative, democratic, representative change to the American political process since the repeal of prohibition.

My reform is very simple. We need negative ballots. How many times have you gone to the polls, looked at the ballot, and decided that all the candidates are scoundrels? Yet our election process requires that you vote for one of them. (Or 2 or 3 in multiple seat elections). How many times have you decided that none of them are fit to hold office? But, in the end, you have to vote for somebody. My proposal will let you vote against somebody.

Now think about this. Wouldn’t that make you feel better? Sure, one or more of the scoundrels are going to get elected, but it wasn’t your fault. You voted against them! Even better, in the process you did not help any of them get elected! In a multiple seat election, like in a County Commissioner election, where there are 5 candidates, and the ballot says vote for 3, you would be allowed to vote against 3. Even better, you could vote for 1 and against 2. Or vote for 2 and against 1. That would be pure Democracy in action. You could really make your preferences known.

I predict that if my reform plan were implemented, it would increase America’s Gross National Product, decrease the number of divorces, increase church attendance, and probably reduce the amount of smog in North Carolina.

This proposal is really not so far out. In some of the more progressive states, some judges do not run in a contested election. Instead, they run against their record. The question is: Should Judge Blank be returned to the bench: yes or no? Now that, in essence, provides a negative ballot. You can vote against returning the rascal to the bench.

There is one very important caveat to my reform plan. If any candidate ends up with a net negative total (that is, more people voted against him/her than voted for him/her), then he/she will never again be allowed to run for any public office. Now that would be a major improvement.

Dingbat Politics

2010-10-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

“Those who do not study history are bound to repeat it.” We are seeing yet another evidence of the truth of this old saying. Now the dingbats are crying that the ultimate solution to all our economic problems is that we must remove all restraints on big business. The theory is that if big business is “allowed” to prosper, the resulting growth will result in new plants opening, more jobs, and a resulting “trickle down” effect that will benefit the working class. Sounds like pure Reaganomics to me. BALDERDASH! This has never worked, and will not work now.

The underlying theory is that big business will be self-regulating, if unrestrained by government regulation. Competition will force fair prices and more efficient production, resulting in more jobs and greater prosperity for all.

This theory fails for two very basic reasons. First, there is little competition. Mergers of the past 20-30 years have effectively eliminated it, especially in the financial sector. Many large financial institutions today compete only with their own subsidiaries.

Second, this theory ignores greed. We have seen too readily the effect of greed by big business on our economic situation. We have seen financial institutions go almost berserk in their quest for a share of the easy money. We have seen business practices, greedily adopted by supposedly reputable institution, that should never be tolerated by civilized countries. We have even seen bond rating companies, long viewed as a type of policemen on the industry, greedily succumb to the lure of the fast buck.

Given the freedom from any government regulation, big business would not immediately increase production, build new plants and provide new jobs. No, they would take the profits, pay huge bonuses to undeserving executives, and ship the jobs to China or India. That’s the route to quick profits, to hell with the situation in America.

So to all the dingbats out there who are loudly supporting this theory, I say: Read history, starting with the past 4 years, and then going back to the turn of the century. Pay attention! You might learn something.

What price principle?

2010-09-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

There is an old adage about national politics that says:
"A statesman plans for the next generation; a politician only for the next election."

It appears that Senator McCain's flip-flop on the "don't ask, don't tell" question is a prime example of this. He sold his soul for votes. Now, he must live with his own conscience, if he still has one.

Dingbats in Montana

2010-09-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

The Montana Republican Party adopted an official platform last June that included a plank in support of making homosexuality illegal.

The Montana Supreme Court struck down such laws in 1997.

To put such a policy in the official platform that has already been declared unconstitutional by the highest court in the state must rank right at the top of the list of really stupid things to do.

Maybe the dingbats just don't realize this has already been before the court and declared unconstitutional? How else can you explain such stupidity?

Dingbats

2010-09-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

I promised myself I would not write about politics this year. So far, I have strayed only a couple of times. But now I realize I can have my say by writing, not about politics, but about comedy.

Many people have mourned the dearth of comedy on TV. These people are not watching the right programs. There is some really great comedy out there, but it is all on the various news programs. That’s where the dingbats are quoted, and they are getting a lot of air time, and saying a lot of really stupid things. The networks and the “talking head” analysts love this. It makes their job so much easier. The analysts in particular are in heaven. They don’t have to do any research, or even write their opinions. They can just wait for one of these dingbats to say something stupid, which seems to spontaneously occur every time they open their mouth, and then take them to task. Must be a good life.

Personally, I have thoroughly enjoyed the political season. I haven’t laughed so much in years. I’m not certain which is my favorite dingbat theory. There have been so many, like the “birthers”, the “deathers”, and all the various conspiracy theories. Some people are just not happy unless they can put the blame on some kind of conspiracy.

Probably the best total dingbat conspiracy theory concerns the fourth plane in the 9/11 attack. According to some of the “teabagger” dingbats, this plane did not crash killing all on board. Instead it landed a secret airport (no one seems to know where) The passengers were loaded onto a military transport which then took off (apparently by remote control) flew to some unknown location where it was shot down by other military jets. The original plane was then flown to Pennsylvania (again by remote control?) where it was crashed into that field. Why? Because this was some sort of vague, unknown, fuzzy conspiracy by the US Government to do something? The dingbats are not sure, but they are convinced that somehow the government must be at fault. Now, isn’t that worthy of a slot on comedy central?

There seems to be only one consistent attribute for the dingbats. They all have the same motto. “Don’t confuse me with facts, my mind is made up.”

Boss Bird

2010-07-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

I recently put up a hummingbird feeder. It is attached to our screen porch so we get a close up view of them while they are feeding. They are beautiful and very entertaining.

But, one bird has decided the feeder is his (I assume it is a male. I can't see them well enough to determine sex, but only a macho male would act like this) He flies in, has his fill, and then perches on a nearby trellis and stands guard. Woe unto any other hummingbird that dares approach the feeder. Boss Bird launches a kamikaze attack and drives them away.

I would never have thought that such a cute, tiny little bird could be so territorial and so aggressive! I can't tell if it is only other males he drives off, or is he impartial as to sex. I wonder if he allows his own mate to feed while he is on guard. I have never seen him allow any other to feed.
Maybe he flies back to he nest and then allows her to feed.

I'm sure it is the same bird, as he always perches at the same spot on the trellis. Yesterday I watched as he stood guard for over an hour. During that time, he had two snacks, and drove off three interlopers. Nobody else feeds while he is on duty!

I wish I knew just how many hummingbirds I have in my yard and surroundings. I could put up more feeders, but this guy might decide they all belong to him.

I guess this proves that macho males have the same attributes, no matter what the species.

What did they really mean?

2010-06-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

Associated Press story of 6/29/2010. Reporting the Germany-England soccer match, the reporter wrote "...a match which hinged on a bad referee's decision."

I can't imagine why the World Cup would hire a bad referee. Did they know he was a "bad" referee when they hired him? If so, surely that is ground for some sort of international protest.

I would like to think they hire only good referees, any of whom might make a bad decision.

Those who write for general public consumption must exercise caution in the use of the language. Otherwise, the public might be led astray.

A case of stupidity

2010-06-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

The local paper carried a story this morning about how some two hundred people waited in line, some for as long as 12 hours, to buy the “latest” electronic gizmo. The line stretched from the store to outside the mall. This was on one of the hottest days of the year. Some of these people took off from work to do this.

It is hard not to consider this as absolute total stupidity! What in hell is their priority? How could they possibly consider that buying this electronic gadget on the first day it goes on sale to be important?

Maybe this is merely another indication of the depth to which some have fallen. To them it is not a question of “keeping up with the Jones.” No, they want to be the Jones, to be first to own the gadget, as if this is important. Do they somehow get more points on the great scoreboard of life just because they were “first?” Do the sensible people who are willing to wait a few days suffer a point deduction?

Whatever. If nothing else, it proves how some are obsessed with “materialistic gizmoism.”

Redheaded Stepchild Poetry Event

2010-05-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Redheaded Stepchild," a very unique (they only
publish poems that have been rejected elsewhere) and outstanding poetry journal published in Raleigh is coming to Hickory for a special Poetry Hickory event featuring poets from their recent issues. Each poet will read a poem from the journal and a couple of others as well. The reading will be held Saturday, May 22, from 1:00 to 2:30 at Taste Full Beans Coffeehouse in downtown Hickory.

For information, call
Scott Owens at 828-234-4266 or email him at
asowens1@yahoo.com. To get a preview, visit "Redheaded
Stepchild" online at http://www.redheadedmag.com/poetry/.

"Birthers"

2010-05-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

We have some relatives who are real “tea-baggers”, and most irritating, they are “birthers.” Their motto is “My mind is made up. Don’t confuse me with facts.” It’s probably just as well. From my observations, I think these people would be totally confused with any fact.

They do seem to follow the formula set out by Orwell in Animal Farm. Give the “sheep” something simple they can repeat over and over.

The truly amazing argument put forward by the “birthers” is that on the day President Obama was born, his parents, along with some unknown political activists, lobbyists and influence peddlers, got together and decided that he would become President in 2008, and thus it was necessary to forge a birth certificate. They claim he was actually born in Kenya, Thailand, Timbuktu, SE Australia, Madrid or New Delhi—someplace other than Hawaii. By their reasoning, it was all a grand conspiracy. They do love a conspiracy. That way they can blame lot of people for something they don’t want to believe.

Their other big argument is that the hospital in Hawaii issued a “Certificate of Live Birth” rather than a Birth Certificate. The “birthers” claim this ‘proves’ he wasn’t born in Hawaii and everything is a forgery. Maybe President Obama wasn’t born at all, but is actually an extra terrestrial from Mars or Jupiter.

One of my daughters was born in the Navy Hospital at the Naval Air Station, Memphis, TN. They issued a “Certificate of Live Birth,” which is very common in many states. But by the logic of the “birthers” this proves she is not a US citizen. HAH! I would like to see them try to tell her that bit of nonsense!

A simple Google search will turn up many sites that can debunk these lies. A good one is www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/born_in_the_usa

Of course the “birthers” would never bother to look at the mountains of proof already available that shows they are totally wrong. They can’t be bothered. Besides, any facts would only confuse them, and they are easily confused. After all, when you listen to Lush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck Sarah Palin or the other “reporters” on Fox News all day, you soon arrive at the point where you can’t recognize a lie if it jumps up and bites you.

168

2010-04-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

168
A poem about the day the Oklahoma City bomber was executed.

Hordes of reporters milling around,
Interviewing each other.
Desperately searching for an illusive scoop.
They can't interview the 168.

National media provides blitz coverage,
Hourly, then by the minute.
Everything you don't want to know.
What about the 168?

What did he say, what was he wearing,
What does he think?
As if this was important.
What about the 168?

Constant repetition almost makes him a folk hero,
A man admired for his stoicism.
He's the hot news today.
What about the 168?

National media giving advice to the survivors,
telling them how they are supposed to feel, to act, to think.
As if these national hotshots knew anything.
What about the 168?

Second by second, we hear how he died,
Eye-witness accounts are the holy grail.
Much ado about the demise of a killer.
What about the 168?

True justice might have been better served,
Had no one bothered to attend.
He would have been exterminated, unnoticed.
And that would honor the 168.

The bank stimulus program

2010-03-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

Thoughts about the bank stimulus program.

The yammerheads out in the blogosphere, as well as some of the talking heads on national TV are demonstrating once again their propensity to either forget or ignore history.

Now, some of these idiots are claiming that the first bank bail-out was not necessary. They seem to think we were not really facing an economic crisis. They are now back to preaching that big business, if left alone, will be self-regulating, and will solve all their own problems. BALDERDASH! To ignore history is to repeat it.

Last November, I had dinner with an imminent economist, a Professor at a prestigious university, and a member of the Council of Economic Advisors. My question to him was, “How close did we come, in September-October of 2008, to an economic melt-down?” I expected his answer to be 30-60 days or so.

His answer shocked me. “3-5 days.”

His reasoning is very simple. He said “It was a potential crucial problem with inter-bank lending, which was already beginning to dry up. The solvent banks were realizing they had to protect their own clients, and could not risk further loans to crippled banks. If Congress had not passed that bill on the second try, the ban on inter-bank lending would have spread to ATM machines. That would have been fatal!”

It works like this. If your bank card is issued by Bank A, and you go to an ATM machine owned by Bank B, than a very short-term inter-bank loan is involved, until Bank A reimburses Bank B for the money you withdrew.

But, Bank B, which is solvent, decides they are not going to make any more inter-bank loans to Bank A, which they consider to be a risk. So the next time you go to that same ATM machine, you insert your card and receive a notice that withdrawals from cards issued by Bank A will no longer be honored.

What would you do? You would immediately go to Bank A and withdraw all your money! You have heard the stories from the 1930’s when banks closed up and left depositors out in the cold.

We would have had a bank run, which would have caused the insolvent banks to close. The panic would have spread, fueled by the national media, and we would now be in the middle of a major depression.

We came that close, yet the idiots cannot face facts. The funny thing is that although it happened during the last months of the Bush administration, they try to blame all this on President Obama. Wonder why?

A Christmas Lament

2009-12-05T11:13:00.000-08:00

A Christmas Lament

An old, old story that has been oft retold.

Of a special time, of a night still and cold.

A new-born infant, and where does he lay

But out in a stable, in a manger of hay.

NO PAYMENTS UNTIL FEBRUARY! DISCOUNT! BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL!

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Calm and serene the dear Mother lay there

Hearing the sounds in the cold, night air.

Of shepherds and wise men coming to see

This special new baby, this Savior to be.

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CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED! XMAS SPECIAL! ATM! WHILE THEY LAST!

Each year at this time, we retell this story

How Angels were singing, in splendor and glory.

And like them our loud hosannas we raise

And fill our churches with music and praise.

But then immediately head back to the store

To buy and buy, to get more and more.

Until sometimes we really don’t know

Just how much we have, for it's all just for show.

0% APR! STORE OPENS AT 6:00 AM! FREE GIFT WRAPPING!

2 FOR 1 SALE! RING RING DING DING! SUPER SPECIAL!

Perhaps it's just me, but I don't understand

The hustle and bustle that's all through our land.

Forget the baby, for that's long gone by

The important thing now is how much can we buy.

An old, old story that has been oft retold.

Of a special time, of a night still and cold.

But don't ask of us where does he lay

For we no longer know. We have lost the way.

Riding the train

2009-10-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

The wife and I made a train trip yesterday, from Washington, DC to Cary, NC We like to ride trains. Son-in-law could not understand why we were willing to spend 6 1/2 hours on a trip when he could drive it in a little over 4 hours. Of course, when I ride with him, I am a total nervous wreck at the end. That boy thinks he is running a NASCAR race.

This was a short but fun trip. Daughter, who is at the Library of congress, had driven down to Chapel Hill to give a presentation at a conference. We drove back with her on Saturday. That son-in-law, who is on the Council of Economic Advisors, has an apartment on 15th st, very near the White House. While daughter took him to their townhouse in Columbia, MD for the weekend, we stayed in the apartment and roamed around doing some of the tourist things.

Tuesday morning we came into Union Station on her commuter train, arriving about 8:20. Our train didn't leave until 3:00, so we had lots of time for a leisurely breakfast, and then some roaming around. We visited the new capital visitors' center, which is impressive but rather crowded, with lots of school groups milling around, awaiting a tour.

More enjoyable were the Botanic Gardens, which are just in front of the capital. This is a WOW! well worth a second or even third visit.

We returned to Union Station about 1:00 for a late lunch in the Center Cafe, right in the middle of the great rotunda. Food was good, although not gourmet quality. But, the people watching made up for it. I like Union Station. It is a kaleidoscope of sizes, colors, costumes and languages. There are lots of weirdos in this world, and many come through Union Station.

I saw more men (and a few women) wearing suits and ties than I had seen in a long time. Around here, the only time one sees a suit is either a wedding, at church or in court. I decided that all the suits I was seeing had to be either lawyers, lobbyists or other such low-lifes. One thing about suits. They all carry a big briefcase. This must be a part of the uniform. As soon as they sit down, they immediately pull out a lap-top or a cell phone, or both. There must be something in the rules governing suits that requires they look busy and important at all times.

But I digress. Our train left, on time, at 3:00. The trip was delightful! We had lots of legroom to stretch out, doze, read, work crosswords, observe the scenery or watch people. One thing about train tracks--they don't go down Main Street. No, they go down the back alleys, so you get to see a lot of things you would never see otherwise. It may not be scenic, but it is very interesting. We saw areas of southern Virginia and northern North Carolina not before seen, and visited a couple of new cities (at least the stations)

We had reservations for 7:30 in the dining car. The wife and I searched our memories for the last time we had eaten in a dining car. We finally decided that it was either 1971 or 72, aboard the Super Tourist Train heading south from Taipei.
Anyway, the food was good, and reasonable in price; the wine was excellent and the coffee was hot and strong. Couldn't ask for more.

We stopped in Rocky Mount, Wilson, Selma, Raleigh and finally Cary, about 15 minutes late. We had left a vehicle at the station, so we only had some 23 miles to home. All in all, a most enjoyable trip which we hope to repeat soon.

Stupid sign

2009-09-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

As I watch the debate? over Health Care Reform, I often think I have seen the ultimate in stupidity. I realize I had not seen it until now.

This may well be the ultimate!

Health Care Reform

2009-08-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

It is said that if you tell a lie often enough and loud enough, people will believe it. Such is the case now with Health Reform. Certain persons, Limbaugh, Palin et al have been telling a monstrous lie. What is really sickening is that these cretins know it is a lie, but have been persistent in repeating it.

Why? To get revenge. First: The American voters threw the Republicans out of office, realizing governing by their old-boy network had brought the country to the brink of disaster; and Second, because they can’t stand the fact that the elected President is black.
Therefore, their approach is to oppose anything and everything. Who cares if this hurts the nation? Who cares if it hurts Americans? By God, they will have their revenge!

The current debate on Health Care Reform is a perfect example of this mendacity. These idiots are screaming “death squads” and euthanasia and “ do in Grandma!” This is all pure Bull Shit!

Look at the facts: HR 3200, introduced July 14, 2009 is the proposed legislation in question. Section 1233 of that bill is titled ADVANCE CARE PLANNING CONSULTATION.

What this section says is that every 5 years, an individual may have a consultation with a practitioner (defined in the section as a MD, NP or PA) regarding advanced care planning. Medicare will pay for this consultation. Notice the key word “MAY.” It doesn’t say the death squad will come by to check on Grandma, or that Grandpa must undergo an examination every 5 years to see if he will be allowed to live. That is what the liars are trying to tell the American public.

Probably the most inflammatory rhetoric concerns creating an “order regarding life sustaining treatment.” In short, this allows an individual to state his/her preferences regarding life sustaining treatment. IF executed by the individual, it allows him/her to state whether they want full treatment, or to limit some or all or specified interventions.
For example, a person could specify that if they were in a comatose state, they did not want artificial nutrition and hydration. This is nothing new. Such preferences have been incorporated in living wills for years. It relieves the family of the burden of making such decisions. The key point is that it is the individual’s desire.

There is a provision that such an Advanced Care Planning Consultation may be performed more frequently if there is a significant change in the health condition of the individual. I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean that if you are diagnosed with cancer, you have to go before the “Death Review Board.” What it does mean is that in that case, if you don’t have a Living Will, you will be given the opportunity to create one or to change an existing one. This would be in consultation with a practitioner. Medicare will pay for it.

So, you can do what I did: Get a copy of the bill and read it, or you can be really stupid and listen to what the liars are telling you.

Health Care Reform-Orwell was right

2009-08-16T18:56:00.001-07:00

Do you remember Animal Farm?George Orwell hit it right on the nose. In that story, the pigs had to come up with a simple slogan the sheep and remember and repeat. They settled on "Four legs good--two legs bad" which the sheep bleated over and over. It worked, helping to keep the stupid mass of sheep appeased.

We are seeing a similar process in action now. The FRRI (that's the fundamentalist radical republican idiots) have come up with some equally simple slogans for the masses. Listen, and what do you hear? Death Squads, martial law, government takeover, socialized medicine.

It is really difficult to accept the fact that some Americans are so stupid they actually believe that one innocuous provision of a proposed House bill means that the Death Squad will come to their house and do away with Grandma.

I really find it difficult to believe that some people are actually that dumb! I suspect that such people never read a newspaper, never listen to the national news on radio or television, and are too willing to listen to and believe the outrageous lies of some RFFI.

How low, oh America, will you sink before finding fortitude?

My Grandson Alex

2009-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

How do I describe my Grandson Alex?
He is jumping and leaping
Crawling and creeping,
Bounding and wriggling
Bouncing and jiggling,
Skipping and hopping
Jumping and bopping,
Smiling and winking and dancing around
Grinning and twisting, both feet off the ground.
Laughing and giggling and yelling and more
Climbing and falling kerbang to the floor.
Rolling and turning and punching and kicking
Throwing and catching and dropping and picking.
Stepping and stomping and running and racing
All the neighborhood pets he is chasing.
Pushing, pinching, bending, bucking, always on the go
Calling, singing, shouting, cheering, joy from head to toe.
My Grandson Alex is living proof, for all the world to see
Perpetual motion does exist, especially when you are three.

The confirmation circus

2009-07-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

It has started! The Big Top Tent is up, and the performers are in place. For a short while (too damn long) it appeared the confirmation circus would be over shadowed by the MJ Circus, a pure media event. But that one has ridden off into the sunset, clearing the stage for the Washington opening.

Featured in this circus are 19 Senators, none of whom have ever met a microphone or TV camera they didn't love. Each of these performers have an uncanny ability--they can hide a question inside a 10 minute speech. It is amusing to watch the confirmee struggle to ascertain exactly what is the question hidden among all that verbige. Good luck to her-she'll need fortitude to listen to all this without becoming totally bored out of her skull.

Someone please explain to me why we need a network "color commentator" during this hearing? We have such animals at football, basketball, baseball, tennis and other such media events. They are supposed to dazzle us with their inside knowledge of what really is going on, as the networks consider viewers as too stupid to understand otherwise. But, we need this at a confirmation hearing?

I think the "lame stream media" has gone too far. Their attitude seems to be that everything exists for the sole purpose of allowing them to sell ad space.

And mark my words, when Satomayor is confirmed, the first question the media will ask is "How did you feel.....?" I wish to hell they would find another question. I'm tired of hearing quasi-literate personalities being asked to describe something they don't even understand.

How low have we fallen? We take a washed-up drug addict freak who happens to be a ex-pop star, and allow the media to turn his funeral into a week long extravaganza of greed and mercenary interests.

Ambalance chasers

2009-07-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

I recently got a speeding ticket. It was a bit of a shock as the last traffic citation I received was in 1975. This one was a real cheap bust, as it was at a place where the speed limit suddenly changed from 55 to 35, on a down hill stretch where speed drops off slowly. But, that's not the story.

Within the next 2 weeks, I received 13 letters from law firms in the area, earnestly soliciting my business, and forecasting dire consequences if I didn't immediately contract for their services. They all guaranteed (more or less) that for a fee of from $70-100 they would be able to get this reduced from speeding to a non-moving violation. Ha! I had already accomplished that by means of a courtesy visit to the DA's office.

Two of these firms were at least 50 miles away. Times must be tough in the legal profession if they are willing to drive that far, and take up that much time for a rather small fee.

I suppose that for someone with a full schedule, not having to spend two hours in traffic court might be worth the fee.

I have lots of time, so I didn't begrudge the imposition. Actually, the entire process was a Chinese fire-drill. Anyone with just a tiny bit of common sense could streamline the operation, save much time and lots of expense. Even though all the information is on a computer system, apparently the traffic court people just haven't mastered such new concepts. For them, it is still a pencil and paper process.

The Confirmation Circus

2009-06-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

The circus is coming! It promises to be an epic production of pathos, drama, slap-stick and stupidity.

The big top tent has not yet been raised, but the side shows have already started. Listen to the spiels of the charlatans, magicians, snake-oil peddlers, street corner evangelists, lobbyists, talking heads and assorted other experts. "Yowsah, yowsah, step right up ladies and gentlemen, see the two-headed baby, the gorilla with three legs, the strong man and the bearded lady!"

To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "never has so much been said by so many about so little." The so-called battleground today swirls around the word empathy. It is a shame so many of the talking-heads have not bothered to look up the definition of the word. Do they really think a judge can operate in a vacuum, totally without empathy? That is big-time stupid.

But the real show is yet to come. At the actual hearings, we will once again see" (1) Senators who fall in love with any TV camera they see; and (2) Senators who cannot understand that any judge worth the title is not going to say how he/she will rule without hearing the facts of the case.

It is a circus, totally useless, expensive and time consuming. But that's the way we do things. Often not too smart, but at least entertaining.

A mark of respect

2009-05-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Pay attention MSNBC, CNN, FOX, and whoever else thinks they are ordained to educate the masses.

We have only one president of the United States. His name is Obama. His title is President Obama, not Mr. Obama. I don't care what they taught you in journalism school. It is President Obama.

Second point: We have only one Vice President in the United States. Currently that is Joe Biden. His title is Vice President Biden. Remember that!

We have several Ex-Vice Presidents or former Vice-Presidents. They are exactly that - exs or formers. They do not rate the title Vice President. Pay attention! When one of you "talking heads" calls him Vice President Cheney, that is an insult to the office and the man occupying that office.

You, the Lamestream Media, have throughly pissed me off. Don't make me come up there.

Talking Heads

2009-04-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

The more i watch and listen to the so-called "national networks," the more I appreciate the BBC.

The big boys, MSNBC, CNN, FOX are becoming increasingly obnoxious and stupid. It is comical to watch how they work so hard to create a story where none exists! They have to produce "news" 24/7, and they are desperate.

I can forsee the day when the following scenario will occur:

Headline--President Obama sneezes while chatting with the Second Secretary of the Embassy of Gabon.

Immediately each of the lame-stream media will assemble panels of pundits (or so-called experts- an "ex" is a has-been, and a "spurt" is a drip under pressure) to microscopically examine whether this constitutes a major change in our strategic strategy vis-a-vis sub-saharan Africa.

You think this is far-fetched? Listen and watch. These idiots are doing things almost as stupid already.

Taxes

2009-04-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

(My apologies to Edgar Allan Poe)

Once upon a midnight dreary as I struggled, weak and weary,
Over a changed Form 1040 I had never seen before.

Back and forth I did the sums, looking for deduction crumbs,
Hoping, ever hoping that I’d find a way to score.

But, alas, twas not my lot to escape an awful blot
Upon my worldly fortune, Uncle Sam keeps wanting more.

My mind grows dim with sorrow; the due date is tomorrow,
And I must find the answer else I’ll end up very poor.

Can I claim those gambling debts resulting from my stupid bets?
And should I try to itemize my bar bill from the club?
What about my one contribution, will it not bring absolution?
Surely I can claim deduction for the new pants that I tore.

Alas tis midnight past, and the time is flying fast, and I must find an answer to the question: How much more?

You may think my answer funny: I’ll just send them all my money,
And request that they return to me all that not spent before.

It is now six months gone by, and as yet there’s no reply,
Could it be that Uncle Sam will give me no succor?

Then the Raven came rapping, rapping
The Raven came rapping, tapping at my window door.

Oh to be so doubly blessed, a messenger from the IRS!
Surely he has come to tell me that my problems are no more.

And I said “Oh bird austere, do you bring me news of cheer?
If you brought to me a refund, then together we will soar.

I am down to bread and beans, for I do not have the means
To buy a decent meal. Tell me, Raven
Am I affluent, as I was in days of yore?

Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore!”

Al Manning- The Resident Curmudgeon

How's that again?

2009-03-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely convinced that the concept of "proof-reading" is rapidly becoming totally alien to American newspapers. As a result we are often treated to some very interesting errors, which are either amusing or disgusting, depending on one's reverence for the English language.

As an example, here is an interesting little tidbit from the Durham Herald-Sun. The writer, describing an upcoming basketball game, had this to say:

"The Blue Devils will take on No. 9 Michigan State (21-10), where current Duke coach Joanne P. McCallie led the program to seven highly successful seasons before coming to Durham, at 7 p.m."

Read this one aloud, then answer the following question: How does the writer know she came to Durham at 7 p.m.? Maybe she arrived there at 6:30, or maybe in the afternoon?

Yes, the commas are in the right places, but when read, this one doesn't make sense.

How's that again?

2009-03-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

Radio and television announcers work under pressure. Sometimes they make hilarious errors. Yesterday, I heard a radio announcer, giving the weather forecast, announce very solemnly, "The high today is expected to be only 35. Current temperature is 36."

The first time I heard this, I chuckled and thought he just misread his script. But I heard the same thing two times in the next hour. Apparently, no one at the station was listening, or bothered to change the script.

The Lamestream Sports Media

2009-02-20T18:15:00.000-08:00

There was a press conference a couple of days back. A "famous" baseball player was explaining how he had used some banned substances, and was now begging forgiveness. Yawn! Big deal. So what? This seems to be an everyday event.

There were 200 media people there. Think about that. It took 200 "specialists" to cover one story. This doesn't count the hordes of network "experts" who yapped constantly before, during and after the press conference.

Does it require that many different versions to explain what was or was not said? That seems totally insane.

Let's be generous, and say that half the media there were photographers. That leaves only 100 reporters. But if each writes 5,000 words (they would have to write that much to justify their expense accounts) then we have a good sized novel being produced.

Is it any wonder that many of our national media companies are in financial difficulty? Their management must be totally incompetent.

Speak English

2009-02-16T18:34:00.000-08:00

I am constantly amazed at the propensity of bureaucrats to make up new words or phrases to replace definitions that are commonly understood.

We recently saw a good example of this unnecessary creative effort. An airliner went down near Buffalo, NY. A government spokesman rather pompously stated there had been an "Air Safety Event." No kidding! Everybody else knew there had been a plane crash. Why not say that? A plane crash is easily understood.

Perhaps this bureaucrat felt that, from his self-exaulted position, such a prosaic term was not sufficently grandois. Therefore we were blessed with this example of word-wooze.

What economic stimulus?

2009-02-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

The more I read, watch and listen to the arguments concerning the so-called stimulus package, the more confused I become. I certainly can not claim to be cognizant of the subtle nuances of economic theory. I leave that to my son-in-law, a Professor of Economics. But even with his explanations, simplified to my level of comprehension, I still have some questions.

Everyone seems to agree that we must create employment, or maybe re-employment to recall people who have been laid off. What I don’t understand is how tax cuts are going to create jobs?

One argument is that if people are given a tax cut then they will have more available income, and in theory, at least, will rush out and buy more stuff. That will, in turn, require more clerks to sell more stuff.

The problem I have with this argument is simple: What kind of a tax cut can increase available income for those who have no income. A 10% increase in zero is still zero. I don’t believe we have any type of negative tax rates.

The other scenario concerns tax breaks for business. The theory seems to be that if we provide tax breaks for business, then business will have more cash flow, and will hire more people. I see a problem with this theory. Suppose we take a business that has been losing money, and has laid off employees. Presumable they would reduce operations cost to at least the break even point. Now offer this business a tax cut. Does anyone really think they will immediately rehire personnel? I don’t think so. I think they would decide that if they were at break even with a reduced work force, then a tax cut would allow them to realize a profit, keeping at the same personnel level.

In either case, I fail to understand how tax cuts will really stimulate employment or reemployment. In my simplistic approach to this problem, I think I would follow the example of FDR. Give them shovels and make the dirt fly! We have lots of things that need fixing (including our banking system, but that’s another problem that won’t be solved by a tax cut.)

Thoughts on the inauguration

2009-01-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

My daughter, who lives in the DC area,emailed me sending pictures of the festivities. She, her husband, his sister and another friend made the pilgramage. This was not their first inauguration. A couple of presidents back, they had seats in the capitol area, thanks to a friendly congressman. But this time it was very different.

They had use of a condo in Arlington. They spent Monday night there. Tuesday morning, they bundled up and walked almost 3 miles in the freezing cold, to the Lincoln Memorial, where they watched on a jumbotron.

From the memorial, they were over a mile away from the actual ceremonies. Why make that effort? Their answer: It was such a historic occasion that they wanted to be a part of it.

These are not starry-eyed young Liberals. Jennifer, my daughter, is a Research Specialist at the Library of Congress. Chris, her husband, is a Professor of Economics at Johns Hopkins. If anything, they are a bit conservative. Yet, they felt it was that important. At the memorial, they met people who had traveled from Atlanta, again just to be there.

Sitting in the comfort of my home, where the temperature was nowhere near that in Washington, I could but faintly sense the electricity, the enthusiasm, the feeling of positive change in the air.

Maybe you had to be black, and be there to fully appreciate the moment. It was an experience we may never witness again. But, oh my! Wasn't it something?

Moving Blues

2008-10-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

The wife and I are moving. We finally decided that the two of us rattling around in this 2,900 square foot three story house is totally absurd! We have two upstairs bedrooms that are only used once or twice a year when the kids come to visit. But, they still have to be cleaned, dusted, vacuumed etc It just doesn’t make sense for us to keep this mausoleum.

So, we put the house on the market, not really believing it would sell so late in the season. We fully expected to be here until next Spring. Guess what! It sold in three weeks. Suddenly, we had to get serious about this moving business.

The first step we started on last summer. We began to get rid of “stuff.” For twenty-one years, we were in the US Navy, and moved every 2-3 yeas. We didn’t have time to accumulate stuff. But, we have lived in this house for 27 years. That’s longer than I lived in my home town. And, stuff did accumulate.

For the past several weeks, the most common question heard around here was “What is this and why do we have three of whatever it is?” I think some of this useless “stuff” was breeding in the dark corners of my workroom. There is no way I could have bought 12 screwdrivers or 14 different sizes and types of nails.

“Stuff” falls into several categories. For example, books: This house has lots of bookcases, so we have books. Thank goodness, the local library has an annual book sale to help finance some of their outreach activities. I have hauled a pickup load of books to the library. I have that many more to ship. Books are heavy. Moving costs are based on weight. There seems to be a lesson here.

Clothes: I have enough clothes to outfit an Army brigade. Again, I am sure they breed in the closet. I am a typical man. I tend to wear a few things over and over, and all the rest hangs in the closet. The local non-profit agencies, like Salvation Army, Goodwill Industries etc. have benefited greatly ( I hope) from this move. I had no problem getting rid of clothes. If I hadn’t worn them in 5-6 years, then they are history. The wife might have a different take on this. But, she doesn’t have near as many clothes as I had accumulated.

Furniture: Here we were lucky. We are down-sizing, so all the furniture wouldn’t fit. The wife was ruthless in this. She said “Out it goes!” Of course, she thoroughly enjoys shopping for new furniture. As I am writing this, I am waiting for a truck from Haywood Christian Ministries to come collect a spinet piano, an oriental rug, two sofas, a mattress and box springs and a large mirror. We had already disposed of a roll-top desk, kitchen table and armoire. Disposing of large items of furniture, such as a piano, is an interesting problem. There is no market for pianos today. Children don’t take piano lessons any more. My tax accountant advised me to give it to a non-profit organization and take the deduction on my income tax.

Computer equipment: I have two computers (plus a lap-top), a monitor, a power control center, a UPS system, a KVM switch, three printers (don’t ask why I need 3 printers), modem, wireless router, different weights and colors of paper, labels, etc. all have to be packed. I hate to be without my systems. I feel cut off from the world. But if I don’t pack the modem and router until last, I can use my lap-top up till the last day.

Little stuff: This is the most intimidating factor. There are thousands of little items that have to be packed. How, where, when? What do you do with a small box of paper clips? You tape it up and put it in a larger box. But all this does take time. There are lots of papers that must be collected into folders, and then put someplace so there is a slight chance I can find them again on the other end.

In today’s financial climate, making a move is a most troubling proposition. The closing on my house is in two weeks. There are many things that can happen between now and then. Most of these things are bad. The absolute worst case scenario is that my household goods would be packed, loaded on the van and on their way to my new house, and the sale of this one would fall through at the last moment. The various moving companies have told me some horror stories of this happening. The purchase of our new house is contingent on the closing for this one. Should the worst case happen, we would be homeless gypsies. I told the wife my alternative plan for this possibility. We would put everything in storage and go on a cruise. That is as good a solution as anything else I can devise.

Picking a VP candidate

2008-10-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

I have been watching Presidential elections for a long time, and have been always fascinated by the drama, the pageantry and the utter hypocrisy. This election has really demonstrated the last.

I have been long convinced that the present administration does not consist of a President, a Vice-President and assorted counselors, aides, assistants and various other hanger-on’s and spear carriers. Instead, the real administration consists of a shadowy cabal, a small group of power brokers who meet in a smoky back room and make all the decisions necessary to advance their agenda. I think this same group selected our current President. Eight years ago, they got together and asked each other: “Who do we have that we can get elected and then control?” Presto, like magic we got George W. Four years later, they came up with enough dirty tricks to assure his re-election.

This year, the group had a candidate who was struggling. They knew that even if their candidate was elected, they would not be able to totally control him, so they went to plan B: select a Vice-Presidential candidate who will help get him elected, and who they could control.

The group convened over cocktails and cigars, and embarked on a high-level group-think session. After much group groping around, they finally came up with three firm requirements for their ideal candidate:
(1)There were a lot of disgruntled Hillary supporters out there, so their candidate must be female, in order to capture those votes;
(2)There were a lot of National Rifle Association votes out there in the wilderness, so their candidate should also be a hunter;
(3)There were a lot of the religious right votes just looking for a place to land, so their candidate needed to have, at least, the sheen of religiosity.

They ran the numbers, and lo and behold! Up came the name of Sarah.

If the reader thinks I am overly cynical, then I ask: Can you come up with another logical explanation for this?

The gas shortage

2008-09-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

In case you have been asleep or out of town for the past week, you realize we have had a severe gas shortage. On Wednesday, the 24th, it was reported that no station in Waynesville had gas by late afternoon.

Such a shortage does create hardships for many people, especially those who have to commute a distance, or shuffle the kids to school and activities, etc.

But, some good can come out of even really bad things. Maybe some people learned to consolidate their trips, or to realize they really didn't need to use the car so much.

The shortage proved to be a true blessing to me. On Thursday, I was planning to mow my yard, which was in dire need of some TLC. I realized I had no gas for the lawnmower, and there was probably no place in town to get some. Oh, golly gee! What am I to do?

This was the only time I have been able to use that excuse to not mow the lawn. Every cloud has a silver lining.

OOPS! Wrong word

2008-09-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

Writers for newspapers should be especially careful in their word selection, because their work is out in the open for the public to see and criticize.

A recent story in the Waynesville, NC Mountaineer illustrates the point. The headline reads: "Grower rift leads to duel markets." This writer needed to check his dictionary, for he has a problem here with “homophones:” words like “duel” and “dual” that sound alike but have very different meanings.

Duel is a noun, defined as “A prearranged combat between two persons…” Markets cannot have a “duel,” nor can you have a noun modifying another noun, as in this case.

However, you could certainly have “dual” markets.

The writer could have used the present participle “dueling” which would have been correct, for that is a verbal adjective which can modify a noun. But he didn’t, so his error is on the front page for everyone to see.

Vulture culture

2008-09-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

My wife came up with this phrase, but it aptly describes the behavior of some of the national media.

Think about a flock of vultures, circling round and round, awaiting something bad to happen. In the case of birds, they are waiting for something to die, so they can have a meal. Vultures are very patient. After they have identified their potential meal, they are content to wait.

During this election year, some of the national media truly resemble a flock of vultures. They too are waiting for something bad to happen. In their case, they are waiting for, hoping for, almost desperately searching for a scandal or a controversy they can milk for two or three stories they can write without having to work hard. So they circle round and round the candidates, the conventions and meetings, like omens of doom, waiting for their chance.

It is almost comical to watch the media vultures as they look, search, probe and dig for a little nugget, something no other reporter has.

If there is nothing hard and fast, then maybe an insinuation, an unsupported assumption, a clever little offhand remark, or a misquote will be enough to create a nugget. Media vultures are usually not too concerned about the veracity of their stories. What is important is that they have a story to help fill those hundreds of newspapers columns and those thousand hours of television time. So what if their story is not exactly true? By the time someone questions it, the reporter is off on another story, perhaps equally untrue.

Do you remember an old cartoon showing two vultures perched in a dead tree? One says, “Patience, hell! I’m going out and kill something.” Media vultures also have been known to kick-start a scandal or controversy, just to their own advantage.

My Fantasy

2008-08-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

On August 28, 1963, the late Martin Luther King, Jr. gave a magnificent speech on the mall in Washington. His theme was “I Have a Dream.” I’m borrowing from his theme but I call it “I Have a Fantasy.”

I have a fantasy that one day those running for the office of President of the United States will campaign on a platform of this is what I believe; these are my principles; this is my program instead of a platform that says vote for me only because my opponent is a worse scoundrel than I am. I have a fantasy.

I have a fantasy that one day only the best qualified men in American will run for the office of President, and that they will aspire to that high office from a sense of duty, not just to appease their egos.

I have a fantasy that one day a candidate for national office will be judged only by his principles and his integrity, not by his political label.

I have a fantasy.

I have a fantasy that one day I will be able to go to my polling place without having to run the gauntlet of politicians and their supporters imploring me to vote a certain way. My fantasy is that they will realize I have studied the issues and the persons running, and have already decided who should get my vote. They’re not going to change my mind while I walk across the parking lot.

I have a fantasy that one day, by high noon on the Wednesday following the election, all the campaign signs will have been removed.

I have a fantasy.

I have a fantasy that one day, starting a week before any election, all the radio and television stations will announce that they will no longer carry any campaign ads or election news. The media will understand that everything that needs to be said about the election has already been said many times.

I have a fantasy that one day there will be a national election, but I will not receive any phone calls from political support groups claiming to be conducting a poll.

I have a fantasy.

I have a fantasy that one day all politicians will be held accountable for everything they promise during an election.

I have a fantasy that one day we will hold an election for the highest offices in this land. In that election, we will vote for our choice of statesmen, who will be concerned about the next generation, instead of for politicians, who think only of the next election.

I have a fantasy.

Big Shoes to Fill

2008-07-26T17:55:00.001-07:00

My grandson has some big shoes he is trying to fill. Big shoes are both physical and philosophical. Today he is trying to fill the physical shoes.

I can only hope that, in the future, I leave him some philosophical big shoes to fill also.

Had I known that grandchildren are so much fun, I would have had them first.

My New Laptop computer.

2008-07-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

I finally broke down and bought a laptop. For years I have stayed away from these diabolical beasts. My reasons were simple: I hate the keyboards!

For years now, we have known it was physically possible to miniaturize computer components, and build a really tiny system. But, there has always been the one snag---fat fingers. The keyboard has been scrunched down just as far as possible. If we want the systems to be any smaller, but still be usable, then we’ll have to clone a human with really skinny fingers.

I have been in the computer business since 1963, so I have seen lots of computer systems, some very successful and others abject failures. For example, anyone who was working with small computer systems in the early 1980’s will remember the “transportables.” Radio Shack and Kaypro built models of these. They looked like a small suitcase, and weighed about 30 pounds. The case opened to reveal a keyboard built into one side and a small video screen on the other. There were two 5 ¼ inch floppy disks, and a long power cord. These were not true portables—they required a power outlet. Hence the name—transportable. They could “easily” be moved to different locations. To be truly portable would have required a little red wagon full of heavy batteries. But these were the progenitors of our laptops.

It was a physical problem that finally convinced me to really try a laptop. I developed a stiff neck. Not only was my neck stiff, it was painful to turn my head very far. My friendly Doctor and I tried various remedies, including muscle relaxers, heat, and exercises. Nothing seemed to help. Then I accidentally discovered the source of the discomfort. I spend a lot of time working on the computer. My eyesight is failing, because my cataracts are growing. I now have to get my head closer to the screen in order to read. My monitor was mounted rather high. So, I was leaning forward, to get close, and holding my head up at a strange angle in order to get my bifocals aimed properly. That combination gave me a crick in my neck.

So I bought a laptop. The theory is that I can sit on the couch, with some good sports on the boob tube, put the computer in my lap, and look down at the screen. So far it is working.

But I still hate the keyboard! Anyone know how to miraculously develop skinny fingers?

Prime Time Radio

2008-06-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

I guess you must be as old as I am to remember it: Prime Time Radio. I was just a lad of 10-12 or so, but I remember it. Saturday night, the family gathered around the radio in the living room. What a radio it was! The console was probably 4 feet tall, and at least 2 feet wide, designed to be a piece of furniture, not just some electronic gadget. The actual radio and speaker took up very little room. The rest was empty space, but space with a purpose. The bottom 2/3 of the cabinet had a removable front, designed to accommodate something called “television” when such a dream actually became available.

We gathered around, and we listened to “Prime Time Radio.” Ah, the programs! “Amos and Andy,” “Fibber McGee and Molly” (with the famous overstuffed hall closet), “Inner Sanctum” (with the creaking door), :Kay Kaiser College of Musical Knowledge”, “The $64 Question (I have a lady in the balcony). There was one other that I have forgotten the name, but one of the main characters was Parkey Carcus. Maybe someone else can refresh my memory.

We sat on the floor, we listened and laughed. It was a dream world of make-belief, but without pictures, color, animation or grandiose special effects. We had to provide all those in our minds. For a couple of hours or so, we were transformed to another world. But then, it was bath time, for tomorrow was church.

What a difference now. Just the wife and I rattling around in this big house. She is up in the den watching Oprey or a news show, I am down in my office watching sports. We do listen to radio together in the morning during breakfast. But that is for the latest news, not for entertainment.

We’ve come a long ways, but we have lost a lot in the process.

Xenophobia

2008-06-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

“You ain’t from around here, are you?” How many times I have heard that question? Usually I hear this whenever I have the audacity to suggest that Haywood County is not a reincarnation of the Garden of Eden, and that its native population is not necessarily the most brilliant, the best educated, the most articulate or the most polite people on earth.

Not long back, the editor of a local newspaper wrote an editorial defending the opinions expressed by a high school student. This student questioned the use of mascot symbols deemed offensive by some racial and ethnic groups. The editor was defending the right of this student to express her opinions. Letters immediately besieged him, shrilly demanding that he go back to whereever his origins. The consensus of the vocal minority seems to be that anyone who disagrees with the established norms must be from somewhere else, and should return there.

Who actually determines these norms of thought and actions? Apparently this same vocal minority! I have often heard the statement “If you don’t like the way we do things then go back where you came from.” Who is this ‘we,’ this elite group that makes the rules?

From what I can determine, to be a member of this group means you have to be a ‘local’ someone born in Haywood County. Now you didn’t have to actually be born in the county. A hospital in Asheville counts, so long as your parents lived in the county. The only exception to this rule seems to be that if your father was in the military, and you had the misfortune to enter this world in some heathen place like California or Texas Of course if you were born in Florida you don’t tell anyone.

More recently a letter to the Editor of the Asheville Citizens-Times dared to suggest something different. Immediately there was another letter demanding that this writer should immediately return to some other place. The amusing thing about all this was that the original writer is a native of Haywood County, second generation. But because he dared to suggest something different, the immediate ‘knee-jerk’ reaction was that he must be from someplace else. I wonder if the natives ever realize how much they are putting down their own birthplace. Their assumption seems to be that no native could ever possibly suggest a new idea. This sounds to me like they are insulting themselves.

The really amusing thing about all this is that the only true ‘locals’ were the Cherokee Indians and their predecessors, but they don’t count in the great hierarchy of local royalty.

I have lived in Waynesville for twenty-seven years, but I will never be a ‘local.’ Not only was I not born here, I also don’t meet the second criteria. I ain’t got no kin here! This amazes the locals. They just can’t imagine anyone living anyplace where they don’t have relatives. Actually I am rather self-sufficient, and have lived in nine states, and two foreign countries without the benefit of having relatives around.

Whence came this belligerent attitude? My researches have not been extensive, but I have uncovered two possible theories. First, this area was settled mostly by a people known as the “Scots-Irish.” Historically, they came from a society where occupation, domicile and marriage were all determined by the rules of their clan. As these people settled into the coves and hollows of the mountains, they settled in family groups, for mutual protection against possible hostile natives, and for companionship. Over time, the extended families took over the place of the clan. The isolation of their environment created a sense of self-dependence, where they had little need of the outside world. They became very distrustful of anyone not from their immediate family, which also meant not from their particular cove.

The interesting rebuttal to this thesis concerns settlement in the Western territories. Here, many of the early settlers were from the same origins; they faced even more hostile native Indian tribes and climatic conditions much more severe than in these mountains. Yet the group sociology in the West developed in the opposite manner. Outsiders were welcomed with open arms. There was never the feeling of ‘us’ and ‘them,’ only all of us against the harsh environment. Perhaps it was the vastness of the western territories that made any neighbor welcome.

Another theory says that this is the result of the Civil War and reconstruction. Prior to the war, the culture of the South was dominated by a small minority of slave holding plantation owners. This elite group painted a picture of their world that was as idyllic as that of “Tara” or “Five Oaks” from Gone with the Wind. This was pure fiction, as any realistic history of the South shows, but it was a fiction to which all poor, grubbing subsistence farmers yearned to achieve. Then came the war, and suddenly those leaders of society became masters without slaves, and plantation owners without land. To add insult to injury, there was an invasion of foreigners, Yankees from ‘up North’, who were telling them what to do. These outsiders could not possibly understand the rules of that wonderful but imaginary society, which had been destroyed by the war.

Either these theories can account for the extreme distrust of anyone not considered a ‘local.’ But one local pundit suggested a more simple explanation. He reported that in the early days of Haywood County, there was only one cobbler, and that cobbler only had one last, so all his shoes were one size. Therefore, most of the settlers went about their work with shoes that didn’t fit, and this just naturally made them cranky.

Disfranchisement

2008-05-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Froma Harrop, a syndicated columnist, is usually good, but her latest column is far off the mark. She has made a glaring error in her logic, the result of not bothering to check the dictionary.

In writing about the Iowa primary caucuses, she says “.The caucuses …disenfranchised many parents of small children, shift workers and those who couldn’t drive in the dark.”

BALDERDASH! An explanation of the terms is in order:

We are talking about preferential primaries. The key word is preferential, wherein members of a political party state which candidate they prefer to run in a general election.

Primaries are political party functions. The rules are set by the parties. Only those who are members of that party, or those the party has chosen to allow to participate, may state a preference.

Even though preferential primaries use the state voting apparatus (polling places, poll workers, etc.) they are still party functions.

If a political party decides they want to hold caucuses instead of using a ballot, that is their business. If you don’t like it, don’t participate.

Back to the Iowa caucuses. No one was disfranchised (the better term). The word is defined to mean “To deprive (a citizen) of a right or privilege, especially of the ballot.” In more common usage, we consider this as preventing a person from voting.

No one prevented parents of small children, shift workers or those who couldn’t drive in the dark from participating. Had they thought it was important enough, they would have found a way to participate. The circumstances might have made it difficult, but there was no wall of prevention.

Froma Harop goes on to complain that the caucuses are a “deeply undemocratic process,” because they produced no vote count and there were no secret ballots. So what? Such are important only in an election. This (primaries and caucuses) is a selection process, where members of a political party decide which candidate they prefer to run in a following election. For this process, a show of hands is as good as anything else.

As a final error, Froma says that “They (the voters in Michigan and Florida) went to the polls in good conscience. Why are they being punished?” I would think the answer is obvious. The DNC makes the rules. These states broke the rules. Live with it and get on with your life, instead of crying “Foul!”

ABH

Junk Mail

2008-05-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

Junk Mail

I get lots of junk mail. Most of it is rather irritating. You have to understand that direct mail advertisers work on a 3% return. That means if 3 out of a 100 people buy what they are selling, then they make money. The other 97 of us have to put up with their junk mail.

There are several banks in America that are absolutely convinced that I really need another credit card. I don’t. I have one, and that’s enough! My old Daddy told me a long time ago, “Boy, every man needs one wife and one credit card. He’ll never want another of either.” But I digress.

The funny thing about these offers is that they all emphasize how low are their interest rates. I guess they assume that just as soon as I get my new card, I’m going to max it out. Now that is dumb! Nobody in their right mind pays the interest these people charge. But they are persistent. Every week I get at least one offer for a new card.

This would not be so bad, except that these direct mail solicitors have decided that since they are sending me a letter, and have gone to the trouble of preparing an address label, then they should get full value for all their effort. So I get a thick envelope, filled with pieces of paper, offering me not only a new, pre-approved credit card, but also all sorts of other things, none of which I need or want.

I have become really ticked-off about these unsolicited solicitations. There was a time when I would just deep-six the envelope without even opening it. I am wiser now. The senders often include a return envelope, with prepaid postage. So if they give me this chance, I pack up all their pieces of paper in the envelope, and mail it back to them. After all, they are paying the postage. I was always taught that if you receive a letter, you should send a reply, especially if somebody else is providing the stamp. I do include a note saying “Put this in your landfill.”

Think about it. We didn’t ask for all these wonderful deals they are offering. Why should we have to dispose of their junk? If we send it back, then whoever sent it has to pay the postage; they have to dispose of it; and the US Post Office gets the business, which they need. It’s a win-win situation!

If enough red-blooded Americans would just follow this simple ploy, we could put an end to much unsolicited junk mail. Of course the US Postal Service would lose a lot of business, but they can always just raise postage rates to make up for it.

But then that’s the view of the Resident Curmudgeon.

A puzzlement

2008-05-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

There are many things in this world that puzzle me. I catch myself saying “Why do they do that?”

Puzzlement #1: On the interstate highways in Virginia, there are signs, which say “Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft.” Now this puzzles me! They don’t say speed limit monitored or detected by aircraft, but enforced by aircraft!

Just what does that mean-enforced by aircraft? Every time I see that sign, I always imagine a Virginia State Trooper on the radio talking to a Virginia Air National Guard plane. “Hey, Charley, we got a white SUV doing 77 at mile marker 284. What ordinance you got on board?” “Napalm?” Nah, that’s too messy. Got any rockets?” “All right, we’ll teach that rascal not to speed in Virginia. Hit him with a rocket and I’ll call in the wrecker.” If that is what they mean by enforced, then it kinda makes you want to obey the speed limit, doesn’t it?

Puzzlement #2: I have some golfer friends who claim the only reason they play golf is for the exercise. Now golfers, like fishermen, have been known to stretch the truth a bit. But if they are only after the exercise, why is it that every one of them will almost kill for the opportunity to park next to the pro shop, where they will have the shortest walk to their golf cart, which they will then drive around the course so they can get their exercise. I must be stupid, but I don’t think getting in and out of a golf cart really qualifies as high intensity exercise. If they really just wanted to get some exercise, why don’t they park far away in the parking lot and carry their bags to the 1^st tee? Even better, why don’t they walk around the course?

I think that I already know the answer. Walking would take too long. They must get their exercise in a short period of time. Of course, 15 minutes on a treadmill will do that. But then whoever said golfers were rationale?

Puzzlement #3: Why do joggers insist on running in the street, when there is a perfectly good sidewalk available?

I actually have an answer for this one. A jogging friend of mine told me the secret. Of course, anything a jogger says is suspect. Anyone who willingly moves faster than a slow walk when there is not a sheriff’s posse chasing them probably should not be believed. But anyway, he said that if you run on the sidewalk, there are driveways and other surface imperfections, and you might turn an ankle.

Now, let’s see if I understand this. Rather than run on the sidewalk, where you might turn an ankle, it is better to run in the street where you can get hit by a car? Now that is a puzzlement!

But then that’s the view of the Resident Curmudgeon.

Car poor

2008-05-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

There are several residences in my county that can be classified as “car poor.” Maybe this is the wrong term—maybe they should be called “car rich!” I’m referring to those residences where there are many more cars permanently parked around than there are drivers.

Many of these places probably qualify for the Trash Up the Neighborhood Hall of Shame. To determine whether a property qualifies, I have developed a simple rating system.

Basic score:

Add (1) point for every vehicle (minimum of 5) parked on the property.
Vehicle includes cars, pick-ups, trucks, trailers (with or without a boat),
motorcycles or scooters. Bicycles don’t count.

Bonus score:

For every vehicle parked in the front yard: 2 points.
For every vehicle up on blocks, either in driveway or front yard: 2 points
For every vehicle missing a major body part (hood, fender, door, etc) 2 points
For every vehicle with a body part painted a different color than the rest of the vehicle: 2 points
For every boat not on a trailer: 2 points

Special bonus:
For every garage so full of junk there is no room for a vehicle: 3 points

To qualify for the Hall of Shame, the conditions must exist for a minimum of 30 days. (One time events, such as birthday parties, family reunions or NASCAR race days, do not count.) A minimum of 10 points is required.

Down my street is a genuine contender. At last count, there were 7 vehicles (4 cars, a delivery van, a motor home, and a boat on a trailer) on the property. Two cars were parked in the front yard. The garage is so full of junk that it hasn’t held a car for many years. All these vehicles have been there for at least 6 months. This place, on a major street, scores 14 points.

Recently I saw the ultimate in single vehicle score. It was a blue pick-up with a black driver side door, missing the hood, up on blocks in the front yard, with a john boat in the pick-up bed. By this scoring system, this single vehicle rates 11 points, enough single-handed to qualify for the Hall of Shame. I hate to tell you about the rest of the derelicts scattered around the property.

Look around. There might be contenders in your neighborhood.

Guilt by Association

2008-04-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

As I have watched the political campaigning, I had almost convinced myself that it could not get any lower. I can certainly see how people in other countries, watching the our political shenanigans, could easily be led to believe that all Americans are sleaze-balls, unfit to associate with other civilized tribes. But, recent events now convince me that yes, it can get lower.

Politicians have rediscovered the concept of “guilt by association.” If you know someone who turns out to be a crook, then you too are guilty. The fact that you might not have known of his/her illegal actions, and that you thoroughly disapprove of those actions makes no difference.

The Republican Party here in North Carolina have invented a new and sinister twist to this concept. They will put this on the air in a TV ad. So far as I can understand, their (the Republicans) rather distorted logic is as follows:

Barack Obama attended a church in Chicago where the Pastor preached inflammatory sermons.

Because Obama attended that church and knew the Pastor (guilt by association) therefore he must agree with that Pastor.

Obama is a Democrat.

There are two candidates in the primary election for the office of Governor in North Carolina.

These two candidates are Democrats.

Therefore, they must also be guilty of something (guilt by association). Are they also to be accused of agreeing with that Pastor, whom they never met or never heard? Apparently so!

When I was in college, I took a course in Logic. Examples of this kind of reasoning were shown, always to great ridicule.

The Republican Party plan to start running this TV ad next week. John McCain, the presumed Republican candidate for President, has told them not to run it! The state party nabobs refuse. They say, with great pomposity, that these facts need to be before the public. BALDERDASH! What they will do is make any voter like myself say “You people are total idiots, and I wouldn’t vote for any Republican candidate in the general election, whether for the office of dog-catcher up to President.”

Like I said, the tactics can get lower, and probably will.

A polygamous ranch?

2008-04-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

The “lamestream” media has done it again. These clowns are notorious for their misuse, misapplication and misinterpretation of the English Language. English is a noble language, rich and full, capable of expressing the most profound meanings when used properly. The national media certainly do not qualify for this.

I am sick and tired of hearing or reading about the “children removed from a polygamous ranch.” Sorry, lamestream media! There is no such thing. As usual, you are guilty of a heinous crime against the language.

A ranch might be arid; desolate; prosperous; abandoned; scenic; run-down; cattle; chicken; dude; large; small; hobby; working or even tax loop-hole, but it cannot be polygamous. There is a very simple reason for this injunction. Ranches don’t get married!

If the lamestream media had bothered to have a short consultation with Mr. Webster, they would have found the following definitions:

Polygamy – n the practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same time;

Polygamist – n one who practices polygamy;

Polygamous – adj pertaining to the practice of polygamy.

Notice that all of these definitions pertain to people, homo sapiens, not to property, acreage or even miles of sagebrush.

The national media seem to have, as a governing concept, the idea that one word, either misused or fabricated, is always better than 3 or 4 words used properly. . It often seems that this same lamestream media are paid, not by the word, but by how many words they can avoid.

They could have said “children removed from a ranch where polygamy is practiced” or “children removed from a ranch where the adults practiced polygamy” or “children removed from a ranch where the adults were polygamists.” Any of these would have been correct. But, the fabricated term “polygamous ranch” is a flagrant foul against the English Language and should be punished accordingly

I often think we need a new law. The lamestream media should be required to hire an English major, and buy a dictionary. The English major will check the dictionary, and then advise the journalists which words they can use, and which misuse of words they should forget. This would make for more serene and restful reading and listening for the rest of us who have some idea of how to use the English Language.

The American Craze for Speed

2008-04-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

Is there a strange twist in the American psyche that requires some people to automatically go into hurry mode as soon as they get in their car? There must be such because anyone who drives will very often see this speed craze in action.

Recently I saw a good example of this. I was heading out the expressway, driving a couple of miles over the 60 MPH speed limit. I was certainly not in a hurry as I had lots of time to get to my destination. Right behind me was a lady in a big SUV. She hung right on my bumper for at least a half mile. Then as we were within 100 yards of the next off ramp, she speeded up, blasted around me, suddenly cut back in front and slowed so she could take the off ramp. “Stupid, idiot!” I thought “There is not another car behind us for several hundred yards. Since you had to slow down for the off ramp, why didn’t you just stay behind me?”

Since I was getting off the same ramp, I ended up at the stoplight right behind her. She had used extra gas, made a rather dangerous maneuver, and had gained maybe 10 feet on me, but was now zero seconds ahead of me. Didn’t seem like a smart move. But I decided I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was going to the Hospital, or to a Doctor’s office, and this was an emergency. But no, she was headed for Walmart. I followed her into the parking lot, thinking that maybe she was rushing in to have a prescription filled for her sick children. Wrong again! She finished her cell phone call, and leisurely strolled into the store. She seemed to have followed some ingrained rule. She wasn’t really in a hurry, but she was in her car, therefore she had to drive fast. I was in front of her. Therefore, she had to speed up and pass me.

There must be something in the genes, the water or the climate that makes people drive stupid. I see it every day, as drivers speed down congested city streets, zip through school zones without slowing, and run red lights, just trying to save a few seconds.

I would hate to think that my life was so disorganized that arriving somewhere 20 seconds later was going to ruin my whole day.

CAPS

2008-04-01T14:16:00.000-07:00

Caps

It seems to me that some young males in Western North Carolina now undergo a secret ‘rite of passage’ that was unknown when I was growing up. Sometime between the ages of 11-14, maybe earlier in some cases, a cap is permanently affixed to their head. This may be a baseball cap, but more often it is a ‘gimmie’ cap, one that advertises John Deere tractors or Southern States Fertilizer or perhaps their favorite NASCAR race driver.

These caps must be glued, welded, stapled, nailed or otherwise solidly attached, because they are never removed. It is now common to see caps worn in church, at funerals, or even at weddings. In one case, I attended a wedding where the groom wore a cap emblazoned with a big 3, the late Dale Earnhardt’s racing number. At the time, I thought that qualified as the ultimate in tackiness, but I have since been proven wrong.

On another occasion I took the wife to a very elegant restaurant to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was prom night, and a couple of the local swains were treating their dates to a fancy dinner before the dance. The young ladies looked very lovely, in their formals and corsages. The young gentlemen were somewhat ill at ease, not accustomed to being dressed so fashionable. But they were doing their best to appear suave and debonair in their rented tuxedos. Unfortunately, their caps spoiled the effect. Now, any fashion expert will tell you that a top hat is the only proper head covering to be worn with evening clothes. A cap advertising fertilizer just doesn’t cut it! I had to wonder did they wear their caps while dancing?

I spent many years in the US Navy, which is a rather formal service. One of the absolute dictums of the “Senior Service” is that you uncover as soon as you come into a building. Never, never, never would a naval person sit down to a meal while wearing a hat. Aboard ship this would probably get you thrown overboard. These rules were so drilled into me that now, to see someone wearing a cap indoors is rather shocking. To see a person in a restaurant, eating a meal while wearing a cap, almost makes me ill! Yet, this is an every day sight. Have you noticed that most restaurants no longer have a coat rack near the door? In the old days, this is where you hung your coat and hat. But, since apparently caps cannot be removed, these racks are no longer needed.

Recently, I saw the ultimate in cap stupidity. While swimming at the local recreation center, I saw a young father, with his cap on, come in with his small children! Now, wearing a cap at an indoor swimming pool surely must rank among the top of the all time list of really dumb actions. I will be charitable, and give this individual the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was totally bald, and didn’t want anyone to see his lack of hair. Maybe he had some horribly disfiguring skin disease on his scalp, and was keeping it covered to shield us from seeing the ugliness. But if not, then he proves my point. Those caps are permanently fixed, and cannot be removed.

But then that’s the view of the Resident Curmudgeon.

The 2008 campaign

2008-03-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

Again, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, "Never in the field of human endeavor has so much been said by so many about so little."
The big political news today seems to be centered on the Pastor of a church that Barrack Obama attends. It seems this particular preacher is a blithering idiot! So what! I have known many preachers that were idiots. I didn't agree with anything they said. Did that place some sort of evil stigma on me because I attended that church? That line of thinking is total BS!

I was taught that the church and its beliefs were above any individual. But, the lamestream media (and certain political people) are working hard to make us believe that because Obama attends this church, he must necessarily agree with this windbag of a preacher. Talk about a charge of "guilt by association!"

This type of left-handed attack convinces me that I will support Obama in the May NC primary, because I cannot tolerate the cheap tactics of the Clinton ticket. However, in the back of my mind, I have the fear that somehow the Clintons will steal the nomination. In that case I will vote for McCain. Anything is better than the other sleazy bunch.

But then, that's the opinion of The Resident Curmudgeon. What's yours?

Reginald the Navigator

2008-02-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

Reginald the Navigator

Last Christmas I bought a GPS navigation system for my wife’s new car. She had wanting one of these for some time, claiming we always get lost on every trip. That could be debated. There is a difference between being lost and just taking the more scenic route.

The voice on our machine is male, so we named him Reginald. We soon found out that not only does Reginald have no sense of humor, but that we fear he will soon be a basket case due to his frustration with our inclination not to follow his directions. Do you suppose electronic devices can suffer a stroke?

Our first encounter with his frustration came on a trip from our home in Waynesville, in the mountains of North Carolina, to Chapel Hill. I had left Reginald on his default settings, so he assumed we should always take the Interstate Highways. Little could he know that in the past 22 years, we have made this same trip approximately 50 times. We know every thing there is to know about I-40 between here and Chapel Hill. To be very frank, we are just bored to death with this stretch of highway, and get off from it at every opportunity.

On this day, Reginald did just fine at first. As I backed out from the garage, I keyed in the addresses for my daughter in Chapel Hill. Reginald did great. He directed me through several twists and turns until he got me on I-40 at Exit 27. For the next hour or so, he was quiet as we buzzed east on I-40. At Statesville, some 130 miles into the trip, I ruined his day. By that time I was already bored with I-40, and decided to take the lesser byway. I exited and got on US 70, which took us through a part of Statesville I had not seen. Reginald almost went berserk! At every intersection he insisted I turn left, to return to his beloved I-40. I defiantly refused, determined to make my own path. From Statesville east, US 70 is parallel to I-40. At every opportunity, Reginald directed me to turn left and enter I-40. And at each command, I refused, as it was my intention to drive US 70 to Mocksville. There we stopped for lunch, hoping that poor Reginald could take this opportunity to rest and settle his nerves. Such was not to be the case.

As we continued on US 64, he was quiet. But, east of Lexington, he awoke with a vengeance! As we neared I-85 coming up from Charlotte, he insisted we get on it, with the idea of going 20 some miles out of our way to rejoin I-40 in Greensboro. I definitely refused again. A few miles further, we met another road going north, and again he insisted we take it. I was adamant! No deviations. On the west side of Asheboro, he had his last chance. US 220, going due north towards Greensboro, could take us back to I-40. I was steadfast. No unnecessary detours. I wonder if such devices really have a personality. I was sure I detected a note of total frustration and hysteria as he directed me to take the last possible way to return to I-40. I was afraid he was going to suffer a stroke.

Reginald was quiet as we traversed through Ramsuer, Siler City and east towards Pittsboro. But, as we approached Pittsboro, he woke up. Being the good fellow that he is, he found my current location (by some form of black magic) and was now resigned to take me to my destination, even if it was not the routing he preferred. He correctly directed me to exit onto US 15-501 north. Apparently he had given up on his plan to return me to I-40, and was now reconciled to the fact that I was not going to follow his earnest directions. As we approached Chapel Hill, he directed me through several turns, and took me to my daughter’s driveway. Stout fellow, even if we did not agree on the route!

The following day Reginald really proved his capabilities. I had a doctor’s appointment on the north side of Durham, in an area where I had never been. I had no idea how to find the office. I downloaded maps from Map Quest, but I know from experience that these are not always accurate. However, I decided that with the maps, and the help from Reginald, I could probably find the place. I did leave a little early just in case I had problems. As I pulled out of my daughter’s driveway, I keyed in the address for the Doctor. Reginald performed superbly! He directed me through several turns and some on and off ramps. When he announced, rather pompously, I thought, “You have arrived at your destination,” I was at the entrance to the parking lot.

How far have we come? Fifteen years ago, GPS were just coming on the market. Go back another thirty years, when I was riding a Navy destroyer, we sweated over star sights and loran for navigation. Now, anyone can have their own private navigator in a small electronic box that will fit in a shirt pocket. Will wonders never cease?

Super Tuesday

2008-02-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

Super Tuesday

It’s Super Tuesday all through the land

National media says that it will be grand.

Just follow their lead

they’ll tell us how to think

As they make their sage predictions

with a subtle nod and wink.

Talking heads, empty thoughts, just puppets on a string

Prognosticating, prophesying, on each and every thing.

They tell us what is going to be

and how the vote will go.

Unless, of course, the polls are wrong

and then they just don’t know.

Hours and hours every day they ramble, rant and rave

They tell us what we’re supposed to do, and how we should behave.

Follow our lead, here’s how to act

no worry, bother or fuss.

But if the vote should go astray

you surely can’t blame us.

We read the polls, we poked and pried, we questioned everyone

We even have opinions from the chauffeur’s younger son.

His daddy drives the candidate

to every campaign stop.

He surely has some real hot news

that no one else can top.

Where is the scoop, the nugget, the juicy little bit

Something that our network has, but no one else has hit?

It may be true, it could be false

we can’t take time to test.

We’ll just put it on the air

and hope it’s for the best.

If we should be mistaken, in a statement strong

We’ll just ignore the error, for we cannot be wrong.

Pretend we did not say to you

which candidate will win.

Our experts have informed us

that 4 plus 5 is ten.

Should candidate X say black is white, and candidate Y says no

We’ll love that little argument, for we can make it grow.

We’ll twist their words, and mispronounce

whatever they might say.

To keep our job requires we have

new stories every day.

Although we may not always, be exactly true

We are National Media, no one would dare to sue.

So all day long we’ll tell you,

almost man to man

The things you have already heard,

and will shortly hear again..

Wouldn’t it be a strange little quirk

If these reporters really had to work?

If they dug a ditch, built a house

saw how real workers fare.

It would do a lot for Global Warming

by eliminating much hot air.

The Roger Clemmons Hearing

2008-02-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

I wasted several hours today listening to all this blather. What a circus this was! Supposedly this was a "fact-finding" hearing. HAH! It was soon apparent that the members of the committee already had their minds made up, and it soon became a witch hunt. One sad aspect of all this is that many of the members are lawyers. Yet, the way they acted would never be tolerated in any courtroom.

The first question one must ask is this: What the hell is Congress doing involved in this? This is not a question of national interest.
This is baseball, for God's sake! Congress, get back to work and do something useful.

The most sickening thing occurred at the end of the hearing. Most on the members rushed out to the hall so they could be interviewed by the lamestream media. And there we heard: "The people on the Republican (Democratic) side asked all the wrong question." What the hell does partisan politics have to do with a fact-finding hearing?

I am more and more convinced that most members of our congress should be dismissed and told to go find a job. They all seem to be interested only in furthering their own interests, or their parties position. The facts, the truth, the good of the country just does not enter into their thinking.

This is all indicative of the absurb position of the reactionary (read Talk Show wing) of the Republican Party. These idiots are threatening to vote for a "liberal" Democrat because the apparent Republican candidate has dared to work with the Democrats to get useful bills passed.

Maybe we really need a quiet revolution.

Dumb national media

2008-02-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know which group is the dumbest, or the most irritating: political or sport analysts? They are both heartily despised by any half-intelligent human being.

This past week, we have had an oversupply of both. Not only do we have the primaries, but we also have the super bowl. We have had 24/7 of talk, talk, talk on both subjects. Can you think of anything on either subject that hasn't been said many, many times.

Both breeds are alike. They are all looking for a nugget, something, anything that no one else has. It makes no difference if the so-called news item is factual, truthful or even possible. The reporters jump on it like a starving wolf on a bone. If their earth-shaking discovery proves to be wrong, as is too often the case, do they apologize? Not on your life! They just go looking for something else.

It's very obvious that both breeds are "scoop" driven. Get it before anyone else has it! In the old days, a scoop might be something to generate an entra edition of a paper, generating lots of sales. That is no longer important, but the the reporters cannot ignore their genealogy. They have to get something unique first.

Even better than a scoop is a controversy. It is often sickening to watch how reporters try mightily to generate a controversy. They are like starving dogs, hanging on to every word, licking their chops, hoping for a misplaced word, a facial expression, a sneeze at the wrong time-anything they can use to generate the illusion of a controversy. Why? Because it makes their job easier. They can get several stories from a simple misunderstanding.

After watching these examples of how reporters/analysts twist words and actions around to suit their needs, it is easy to recommend they should be strung up by their thumbs, on the town square, at high noon.

And they wonder why no one pays attention to them.

Clean, cheap electricity--the myth

2008-01-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

A dialogue between The Resident Curmudgeon, hereafter called TRC, who looks at everything with a suspicious eye, and doesn't believe anything the so-called experts tell him, and a neo-conservationist, hereafter called a neo-con, who believes in the tooth fairy.

TRC: A power company wants to build a new coal-fired power plant in NC. It will be state-of-the-art, with emissions much lower than existing plants. When built, the company will close 4 older, much dirtier plants. On the surface, seems like a good proposal.

Neo-con: NO, NO, NO! We can't have any more coal-fired plants. They all poison the atmosphere, and lead to global warming.

TRC: You want unlimited, cheap power. How do you propose to provide this?

Neo-con: It must be clean, green and non-contributory to global warming.

TRC: OK. How about windmills? They are certainly clean and green, but they have some unwelcome characteristics. Have you ever been to Spain, Portugal, or maybe Wyoming or California? There are large windmills lined up across every ridgeline where there is a prevailing wind.

Neo-con: NO. We can't have windmills on our ridgelines. They spoil the view, and they are a danger to migratory birds.

TRC: I don't know about spoiling the view. Just how eager are you for cheap, green electricity? If you have ever seen these, you will know that they turn so slow that any migratory bird that can't fly through the blades deserves to get killed. But, there is another problem. Sometimes the wind doesn't blow. Then, you must have back-up power. What will this be? If it is a coal-fired plant, that creates another problem. A coal-fired plant is designed to run most efficently at about 90% power. That is when it is the cleanest, with the least amount of emissions. But, while serving as back-up, a coal-fired plant is at idle. That is the most dirty condition it can be. It's a question of design. A plant cannot be designed to run at optimum in both conditions.

Neo-con: NO, NO, NO! we don't want any more coal-fired plants.

TRC: Well, how about a nuclear plant as back-up?

Neo-con: NO, NO, NO!! We will not allow any more nuclear plants either as primary or as back-up power. They are dangerous!

TRC: Well, maybe we should consider hyrdoelectirc plants. Of course, that will require that we dam up a few rivers, but it will generate clean power.

Neo-con: NO, NO, NO! We can't dam up any rivers. That will endanger several kinds of freshwater mussels, and interfere with the mating habits of carp and crawdads, besides taking thousands of acres of farmland out of production.

TRC: You have strong objections to any solution I have proposed. Maybe, the anser is to issue a small generator to every household, and let them produce however much power they need?

Neo-con: NO, NO, NO! Those would burn gasoline or diesel fuel, emit very noxious fumes and particulate matter, and create too much noise.

TRC: Well, I have one final solution to propose. Maybe we should move all our generating plants to southern Mexico. There, they could produce very cheap power. They have lots of cheap labor to shovel coal, thus eliminating the requirement for expensive conveyor systems. If the plants were far enough south, then the smoke, dust and carbon would not drift up into Texas, New Mexico or Arizona. Unfortunately, the laws of physics prohibit the efficent transmission of electricity from southern Mexico to New York. One solution might be to move everyone to Texas. Then the rest of the US could become a vast, wilderness preserve. However, if you have ever been there, then you might appreciate why people from New York might not enjoy living in west Texas.

Neo-con: Anything is better than global warming.

Britney Spears

2008-01-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

I'm tired on reading stories every day about the latest stupid acts of this zonked-up bimbo. Who really gives a damn? Apparently, only reporters and photographers. These people should get a life. There is a lot of news around the world. Why are these lame-stream media flacks wasting ink and space on the latest antics of this stoned, drunk publicity hound. She seems to think the rules just don't apply to her. We have news for you, honey. When they throw your ass in jail, maybe you will wake up and figure this out.

Today's article breathlessly reports that she "was taken to a hospital in an ambulance that was chased by a crowd of reporters." That crowd of reporters should have been compelled to do something useful. Maybe they all should be issued garbage bags and directed to clean up the freeway.

And the national media wonders why nobody pays attention to them now.

Iowa Caucus

2008-01-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

To paraphrase Winston Churchill: Never in the field of human endeavor has so much been said by so many about so little.

If we consider the number of newspaper, magazine or other written media people in Iowa, and if each one posts just 1,000 words a day, we have the equivalent of War and Peace written every day.

IF we consider the number of radio, TV etc. reporters, each reporting at least 15 minutes a day, we find a new explanation for global warming--that's a lot of hot air being generated.

Just think: we have almost a full year of this yammering to look forward to. Oh joy!

December 24, 2020 Part #2

2007-12-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

“We’ve got a bad problem. The left-handed thing-a-bob that controls the outer gizmo on five has totally failed. First time I have ever seen one go completely like that. Usually they will partially operate, at least enough to…”

“OK, OK! What do you have to do to fix it, and how long will it take? When can I get going? I’ve got thousands of presents to deliver before morning.”

“Oh, it must be replaced. Unfortunately we don’t have a left-handed one in stock here in the storeroom. We have three right-handed ones, but they will not fit.”

“So where is a spare?” yelled Santa, becoming very red in the face. Mrs. Claus reached over and touched his arm as a warning to calm down.

For ten long seconds Santa stood absolutely still, gritting his teeth, as he struggled to control his frustration. Finally he continued in a soft, quiet voice. “How long will it take to get a spare whatever you call it and install it so I can go do my job?”

“That’s the problem. The computer says the nearest one is in the warehouse in Florida. I’ve contacted the duty storekeeper there, and she’ll have one on the midnight transpolar rocket express. That’ll put it here shortly after one-thirty, and we’ll have it installed, tested and ready to go by no later than three.”

“By three! That’ll put us completely out of the launch window.”

This time Mrs. Claus got up from her rocker and walked over to where Santa was standing. His face was even more red, and his eyes bulged out like he was about to explode.

“Oh, have another cup of coffee and sit down before you pop.”

Santa sat down in the controller’s chair, and buried his face in his hands. “Three! It might as well be next week. If I’m out of the launch window, I’ll run afoul of the inter-city rocket busses taking the night shift home. I’ll probably hit every stratospheric red-light between Nome and Naples. Some of the presents won’t get delivered until well after sunrise. Do you know how many children are expecting presents to be under the tree? Do you know what they are going to say if they wake up and the presents are not there? Do you have any idea how many law suits I might face? I could be sued for treble damages, claiming alienation of affection, breach of contract and mental anguish! Somebody call Phineas T. Pettifogger, my attorney. Get the rascal out of bed and tell him to stand by for big trouble!”

He jumped up and wandered back to the table where the Elves were arguing how to proceed The Loadmaster wanted to finish loading in advance, while the Chief Engineer claimed he needed work space inside the cargo hold.

As Santa joined in the discussion, one of the Elf apprentices, easily the youngest and smallest of anyone on the maintenance crew, quietly slipped through the back door of the bunker. The little Elf slowly worked his way up behind the group, then reached up and tugged at Santa’s coat. Without even looking down, Santa brushed his hand away.

“Don’t bother me. I got work to do and things to think about.”

The little Elf persisted, but with no better success. Finally, in the tinniest little voice, he spoke. “But Santa, I know how to fix the sleigh.”

Nobody heard him except Mrs. Claus. She looked up from her knitting, stared at the little Elf, and then suddenly yelled at Santa. “Hey, you old fool, pay attention! The little Elf says he knows how to fix the sleigh.”

‘Oh, he doesn’t know anything,” sneered the Chief Engineer. “He’s only an apprentice, and mostly just washes and waxes the sleigh.”

“Nevertheless, you listen to what he has to say. You were an apprentice onetime yourself, but that was ages ago.”

Santa slowly turned around. For the first time that night, he had just the hint of a twinkle in his eyes.

“OK, Shorty, tell me how to fix that no good pile of junk out there.”

“It’s easy, Santa. Just turn the outer gizmo upside-down. Then a right-handed thing-a-bob will fit, and we have plenty of those. Comet will work almost as well as before. You’ll have to leave off one small piece of the inner shielding, but it’s not on the hot side of the tube, so this won’t hurt.”

“That’s nonsense!” stated the Chief Engineer. But then he stared into space for a moment and suddenly smiled, “But it just might work.”

The Chief Engineer, Mission Controller and Loadmaster rushed out the door to the pad, and gathered around the sleigh. Inside the bunker, one of the controllers listened intently to his headphones, and then turned to Santa and gave a thumbs up.

“How did you know this?” Santa asked the little Elf.

“We take the shielding off when we clean the sleigh every year after your trip, just before we all go to Florida. Sometimes we take the gizmos out, so I knew this one could go in upside-down.”

“See what I have been telling you,” laughed Mrs. Claus, “If you had been listening instead of talking so much, you would have saved a lot of time.” But she gave him a fond look even as she made fun of him.

* * *

It is now T-3 minutes and counting. Mrs. Claus passes the lunch basket through the hatch, kisses Santa on the cheek, and scurries clear of the pad.

5-4-3-2-1 BLASTOFF! All tubes ignite with a roar, and the sleigh leaps clear. As it quickly passes out of sight, Santa can be heard over the data-link, yelling at the top of his voice:

NOW DASHER! NOW DANCER! NOW PRANCER AND VIXEN! ON COMET, you better hold pressure, you rascal you! ON CUPID! ON DONDER AND BLITZEN!

And they heard him exclaim as he roared out of sight:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

IT’S BEEN A HELL OF A NIGHT!

December 24, 2020 Part #1

2007-12-19T15:19:00.000-08:00

December 24, 2020

Christmas is only T-25 minutes away and counting. All pre-flight checks are proceeding normally. The elf ground crew scurries around the launch pad, completing the fueling of the sleigh. So far, the count-down has been smooth, but tensions are running high as launch time draws closer.

On the launch pad, lit by strings of multi-colored Christmas lights, and by the candles in the windows of the control bunker, the massive red sleigh crouches, poised for flight. Holly wreaths and strings of mistletoe, shivering gently in the chill breeze, drape the yawning mouths of the eight rocket tubes.

Santa Claus stands in the center of the control bunker where he can see the status board showing how the launch sequence is going. Mrs. Claus kneels beside him, sewing up a tiny rip in his red space suit. Santa is complaining to the Elf Loadmaster.

“Make sure you check the gasket on the cargo door. If It leaks just a bit, it whistles and drives me batty. Also, don’t load the stuff so far aft. Last year she was tail heavy all the way to Birmingham.”

“Right, Santa,” retorted the Elf, “I’ve already checked the cargo door. As for loading, we’re right on the computer simulation. The predicted center of gravity is within 10 millimeters of ideal.”

`”BALDERDASH!” yelled Santa, “That computer hasn’t been right for the past twenty years. Besides I don’t weigh near as much as that dumb machine thinks I do. That’s why your load prediction is off.”

Mrs. Claus laughed around the pins sticking out of her mouth. She peered over her glasses at Santa and slowly shook her head.

“Why you old fool, you’ve gained ten kilos in the last five years!” Turning to the Loadmaster, she winked and chuckled “Don’t pay any attention to him. That computer was completely checked out just last summer. Load her by the book and let her go.”

ALARM ALARM ALARM. Red lights flashed and alarm bells rang in mission control. All eyes quickly turned to the status board covering one end of the bunker. The count-down clock was flashing, showing T-20 minutes and holding. An excited babble of voices came from the controllers seated at their consoles, as they talked with the pad crew, trying to determine the problem.

“What in thunderation is wrong now?” roared Santa, “If that piece of junk acts up on me again, I’m going to trade it in for a snowmobile.”

“Hush, you old fool, so I can hear the reports.” Mrs. Claus was the calm one as usual.

The Mission Controller finally yelled over the din. “Tube five is not holding pressure. We have stopped fueling while we check it out. It may be only a leaking seal which we can repack in place, but we won’t know until we remove the outer shielding.”

“Which one is tube five?” asked Mrs. Claus

“Comet” replied the controller.

“COMET!” yelled Santa, banging his fist on the top of the console. “Comet messed up on us four or five years ago. I thought we fixed it then? What’s going on out there? How long will it take to repair it? Why can’t I get any information from the pad?”

“Oh relax, and have a cup of coffee,” said Mrs. Claus as she calmly closed up her sewing kit and put it away. “If you will just leave them alone, the elves will fix it and then you can go deliver the presents, and the rest of us can have some peace and quiet.”

Twenty, maybe twenty-five minutes pass, and Santa is growing more nervous by the second. He stalks over to the window looking out over the pad, then to the mission controller’s console, checks his watch, stomps over to the table where the engineers have unrolled the blueprints for tube five, then back to Mrs. Claus. She is sitting in her rocking chair, knitting a sweater and paying little attention to his non-stop chatter.

“I have never been late! No matter what has happened, I have always made it on time. But not his year! I feel it in my bones. This time that Comet tube will have something really bad wrong with it. I just know it. I’m going to be late getting out of here.”

Right on cue, the Chief Engineer came into the room, his long face advertising the bad news.

Santa didn’t give him a chance. “What’s wrong with the sleigh? How long will it take to fix it? How soon can we load and go on the trail? I can’t waste any more time. Let’s get this show on the road.”

The elf slowly walked over to the table where the blueprints were laid out, and turned to face Santa.

The Jericho Wall - Part #2

2007-12-12T18:44:00.000-08:00

When her mother made a pronouncement in that tone of voice, it was the end of the conversation! The WORD has been made known and all would obey. As if to underline the fact that the word had been spoken, her mother turned back towards the cupboard and gathered up silverware.

Under most circumstances, Mary Catherine would never have dreamed of questioning further. This time she felt compelled to continue, to fly into the teeth of the storm. She certainly did not want to openly defy her mother, knowing what that might bring. But she felt an urge to somehow make a statement of independence, to assert the fact that she had doubts about some of the accepted beliefs, and that she was capable of debating these ideas. Picking up ice tea glasses from the cabinet, she turned and faced her mother.

“Mother, you always enjoy watching the clogging at the county fair. That’s dancing. You told me you used to clog when you were young.”

“DON’T YOU BACKTALK ME! Clogging certainly ain’t sinful. Why we been clogging in these here mountains for as long as anyone can remember. You ain’t never heard no real man of
God in these parts say nothing against clogging. You’re trying to twist my words around, young lady. You’re trying to make me say that clogging is the same as dancing. It ain’t! DANCING is SINFUL, and that’s that!”

Mary Catherine’s knees were so shaky she had to grab the back of a chair to keep from falling. As much as she wanted to go to the ballet, she wanted also to ease her mother’s wrath yet somehow be able to assert her own ideas. Summoning the very last of her courage, she struggled on.

“Please, Mother, I’m not sassing you. It’s just, well, it’s sometimes hard to understand things. Ballet is something like clogging. It’s been done in some places as long as anyone can remember.” More bravely now, she continued, “I haven’t heard any preachers say that ballet is sinful like other kinds of dancing.”

“Well,” her mother sniffed, “I suppose they think it’s all right up there in New York, but that ain’t no great shakes as a recommendation.”

Feeling that the tension was easing a little, Mary Catherine responded in a lighter tone of voice. “No Mother, ballet isn’t from New York. It’s a kind of folk dancing, and originally came from Russia.” As soon as she said this, Mary Catherine died inside.

“RUSSIA!” Her mother’s voice went up an octave and her eyes seemed to glaze over. “You mean to tell me you want to miss a meeting at God’s house to go see some outsiders doing a dance from Russia? The only thing that ever came out of Russia is heathen, devil-worshipping
COMMUNISTS! Brother Charley Baker on TV says the heathen communists are the anti-Christ, trying to establish Satan’s kingdom right here on earth. You will not miss church to go see some Russian dance. I am shocked that you would even suggest such a thing. You march right up to your room, read your Bible, and get down on your knees and beg God’s forgiveness for such sinful thoughts!”

Mary Catherine put down her dishtowel, turned and slowly climbed the stairs. She went to her tiny room, tucked into the upper back corner of the house, picked up her well-worn Bible and sat in a chair near the small dormer window.

Opening the Bible, she glanced at the page and read:

“…when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, they raised a great shout, and Jericho’s walls fell down in its place…”

She laid the Bible in her lap and stared out the window. The familiar scene of forest and mountains seemed to blur into a montage of dancers gliding across a church while scowling spirits swirled overhead screaming SIN! Above it all she could hear her mother’s voice far away calling “Mary Catherine, Mary Catherine…”

“Mary Catherine, are you deaf, child? Come down to supper. Papa’s already at the table, waiting to say grace.”

Closing her Bible, Mary Catherine slowly rose and looked around the familiar room. It now seemed different, for suddenly she was seeing things as a different person. No older, certainly a
bit sadder, but surely much wiser. It was not just missing the ballet. There would be other performances. It was the realization that the wall of rigid thought surrounding her closed, tight-
knit world was no longer solid. Although not by design, her argument with her mother had caused the initial crack. She had stood her ground, at least for a little bit, and had tried to express her own ideas. This time she had been slapped down. There would be other times. Bit by bit, the Jericho Wall would come tumbling down.

The Jericho Wall Part #1

2007-12-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

The Jericho Wall

“Hurry, Mary Catherine,” called Mother, “We must get the table set and finish fixing supper before Papa and the boys come in from the fields.”

Even as she hurried about taking dishes from the cupboard, Mary Catherine was in turmoil. “How can I ask her?” she agonized? “The whole family has always attended every night of the Spring Revival.”

Pausing only long enough to brush her long brown hair from her eyes, Mary Catherine bustled around setting the table, trying to stay so busy she wouldn’t have time to think and lose her resolve. Finally, grabbing the last of her courage, she blurted out. “Mother, would it be all right for me not to go with you’all to Church on Friday night? Mrs. Massie has arranged for our class to go to Asheville on the activity bus. Johnny is going and he will bring me home.”

“Child, whatever has gotten into you? Why, what would it look like if you wasn’t there with all the rest of your kin? Everybody in Pinson Cove knows this here family supports our church just as much as we can, and that means we’ll always be there whenever there’s preaching to be heard.”

“Yes, Mother, I know. But I’ve been to services Sunday, and last night, and we’re going tonight and Thursday. Would it be so awful if I missed that night?”

Her mother turned. Like a hawk, she stood tall and gaunt, hands on her hips, staring at Mary Catherine with fierce eyes. “Just what is this doings you’re so all fired-up to go to? I can’t imagine anything more important that going with your family to God’s house!”

Mary Catherine wiped her hands on her apron. She hesitated, fearful to tell her mother, knowing full well how the wrong words might set her mother off down a road from which she could not be turned. However, there was no backing down now.

“We’re going to the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium…”

“Thomas Wolfe!” her mother interrupted angrily, “He’s that low-life writer they’s so proud of over there in Asheville, ain’t he? For the life of me I can’t understand why they would name something after him. Anything they’s having there can’t be no good.”

Mary Catherine cringed. If her mother got riled up over the name, there was little chance for her plan. Bravely she continued. “It’s just part of the Civic Center, Mother. There is a touring group from New York. Mrs. Massie has arranged for our class to get reserved seats. This is the first time this group has come to Asheville since 1980, almost six years ago.” Seeing

the frown on her mother’s face, she rushed on. “I have money for my ticket saved.”

The frown on her mother’s face deepened, and her voice changed to a more suspicious tone. “Just what exactly is this here fancy group from New York? I can’t imagine why anybody would

want to go hear singing by people not from this part of North Carolina. Why, we got some of the best singers round here you could ever want to hear.”

In a more belligerent voice she continued. “This ain’t no gospel singin group from one of them high-falutin church schools up north, is it? You know what we think about them so-called Christians. Why, they don’t hardly even believe in the Bible. I swear they shouldn’t even be allowed to call them churches, for they’s no better than a bunch of…”

Mary Catherine knew she had to get her mother stopped now or she would never even get an answer. To interrupt her mother was almost a sin in her family, but she chanced it.

“It’s not a singing group, Mother. It’s a dance troupe from the New York City Ballet.”

“DANCE! You don’t mean to tell me you’re thinkin you might run off to Asheville to see a bunch of half-naked, Satan-loving savages jumping round screaming heathen songs? Let me tell you, Missy, you better get your head straightened out right quick. I knowed it was a mistake letting you go to County High School. I should have insisted you go to Fellowship Christian School, even though they ain’t quiet right bout the second coming, but at least you wouldn’t be around sinners who would go to such heathen doings!”

Once again Mary Catherine dared interrupt her mother. Twisting a dishtowel around her hands, ignoring her shaky knees brought on by fear, she forced her voice to come out strong. “NO, NO, Mother! It’s not a rock concert. I wouldn’t even dream of going to one of those. This

is a ballet company. They dance, well, it’s like they dance to tell a story. The stories are very old, and …”

“I don’t care what kind of stories they are! You know just as well as I do what this family thinks about dancing. Just last fall Brother Russell preached a powerful sermon bout how dancing is pushing the young people of this world right into the gates of Hell. Dancing is SINFUL!”

Morman candidate

2007-12-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

I have watched with interest Milt Rommey's speech about his religion. Talk about much ado about nothing. The really sad thing is that he had to make this speech.
The other disgusting thing are the comments made about the so-called experts. Many of these people go on national television to demonstrate their appalling ignorance. They have not read history, and they are totally off base. It is almost sickening to hear these know-nothings call the LSD church a "cult." If this is a cult, then so are the Southern Baptists, and many other of the "religious right."

I do not agree with the Mormon theology. However, I admire almost all of the Mormons I have known. They, along with the Quakers, sincerely try to walk the walk, as taught in the Bible. Too many of the so-called main-stream religions just talk the talk. Go read the history of the Mormons during the Great Depression, and you will get an idea of what I say.

It is disgusting that a presidential candidate has to go on national television to say that he will not be influenced by his religion. Hell! I want my president to be influenced by his religion. That's a hell of a lot better than being influenced by big-business or by the lame-stream media.

Golf stupidity

2007-11-27T18:59:00.000-08:00

Almost every golfer I know claims they play golf only for the exercise. Of course, most courses require motorized golf carts, because this speeds up the play.

For those few courses that do not have carts, golfers have the options of a caddy, carrying their clubs or using a pull cart. Pull carts are very easy to pull, even on a hilly course. But, recently I saw the ultimate in stupidity. They now make a motorized, battery-powered pull cart. Instead of pulling the cart, you merely push some buttons on the handle, and steer the cart. For a mere $700, you can have the ultimate pull cart.

Now, if they would only put a larger motor and battery on this contraption, you could hook a wheeled chair behind, and just ride along, getting your exercise.

Gas mileage

2007-11-18T14:50:00.000-08:00

I just returned from trip to Winston-Salem. I went there for North Carolina Writers' Network Fall Conference. I am on the Board of Trustees, so I am expected and obligated to attend the conferences. The conference actually started on Friday evening. Normally my wife would have gone with me, and we would have made the 3 hour trip on Friday afternoon to be there for the opening sessions that evening. This time she decided not to go, so I waited until Saturday, leaving my warm bed at 5:30 in the morning to be at the conference by 9:00.

I drove my wife's new Toyota Prius. She has had it only 3 weeks, and this was the first out-0f-town trip. These cars get wonderful gas mileage! I averaged 48.6 for the trip. With gas at $3.05 per gallon, this was a welcome bonus. But, there is a backside to this. The car's computer constantly shows the current gas consumption rate. If I am driving on a level stretch of road, the display will show 70-75 miles per gallon, but as soon as I reach a hill, the rate will drop into the 20's. If I pay much attention to this, I find I want to do something to keep that figure high, even though I know there is really nothing I can do except maybe slow down below my normal cruising speed. But I find myself thinking about this.

The obvious solution is to turn that mileage display off. Don't worry about it, as the final average is the only important thing. At the end of the trip, check the average, and then gloat to all the other drivers who are using gas guzzling SUVs. That's great for the ego!

Foreign Ppolicy

2007-10-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

It must be tough to be President and have to put up with 536 wannabe Secretary s of State. It's a damn shame that many members of Congress are too cheap to buy a copy of the US Constitution and read it. That way, they just might discover what their job really is, and more important, what it is not.

It is not to try to make foreign policy. The only role of Congress here is to "advise and consent." If they do lot like a treaty, they, Congress, has the right not to consent. But that is as far as they are authorized to go. They must learn this.

I cringe every time I read where some Congressman, elected to represent a district in Iowa or Arizona or Oklahoma, is off globetrotting, getting lots of media attention, and making stupid statements that often undo months of careful negotiation. But they just don't get it. They can't accept the fact that they were elected to represent one small geographic area, not to be Secretary of State. Maybe they think this will gain votes. To me, it only gains my scorn at their arrogant stupidity.

The value of a good night's sleep

2007-08-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

A Good Night’s Sleep

What is the value of an uninterrupted sleep? I don’t know, but last Sunday night I experienced the ultimate opposite.

That night, the wind was blowing a gale. The lights flickered, warning me that a total power outage could not be far behind. I shut down the computer system and waited. Sure enough, at 10:34 everything went dark. I scurried around, stumbling over things in the dark and running into doors until I finally located my emergency flashlight. I was ready to pack it in and go to bed, but then decided that since I had my cell phone handy, I would report the power outage.

I called the Progress Energy emergency number, and had a long conversation with a computer. Everything there must be totally automated as I have never spoken with a real person. Anyway, among other things, the friendly computer wanted to know a telephone number where I could be reached. I gave him my cell phone number, as all the portable phones in my house would not operate without power. Then I crawled into my bed, about 11:15, hoping I would have a long interrupted sleep, and that everything would be fixed by morning. Wrong!

At 12:30 a.m., my cell phone rang. It was the friendly computer telling me they expected to have power restored by 3:00 a.m. Wonderful! Now, just do it quietly and let me go back to sleep.

At 2:00 a.m. a truck from Progress Energy arrived. It had enough searchlights to light up a football field. I staggered out of bed and to the window, where now I could see that a tree across the street had fallen on the lines. The work crew cranked up what is surely the loudest chainsaw in the western hemisphere, and cut the tree down. I am sure that no one within a half mile was still asleep after that noise. I grouped my weary way back to my bed, thinking surely that was the end of the interruptions. Wrong again!

At 3:15 a.m. the friendly computer called again to tell me that now they expected to have power restored by 5:00 a.m. I don’t know how sensitive that computer is. I hope I did not hurt his feelings when I told him just what he could do with his %$^*(&#!- Progress Reports. Once again, I burrowed into my covers, hoping against hope that there would be no more progress reports, or repair trucks or anything else before morning. Guess what? I was wrong for the third time.

At 4:00 a.m. another truck from Progress Energy arrived in front of my house. Wearily I watched as they positioned the truck at the pole holding the local transformer. “Aha,” I thought, “They will reset the transformer and everything will be fine!” With a light heart, I dove into bed and pulled the covers over my head. Come blissful sleep. Would you believe it? Wrong for the fourth time.

At 4:35, the power returned. Of course, that meant all the lights, the TV, the radio and probably a lot of other unknown things suddenly came to life. Groggily I wandered through the house, turning off everything I could find, until finally I had absolute darkness and quiet. As I finally fell into bed, I was elated to think that there was nothing else they could possibly do to disturb my sleep.

At 5:00 a.m. the cell phone rang. It was the friendly computer, saying “If you now have power restored, please press 1.”

I have made a solemn vow. If I ever find out where that computer is located, I will launch a one-man commando raid, and totally discombobulate his modem.

The moral to this story is: The next power outage, I’ll let someone else report it.

It's not my fault

2007-08-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

I love to read the really dumb letters to the editor. There was one in the Raleigh News % Observer last week that really yanked my chain.
This lady, 8 months pregnant, was stopped for speeding. She was very irritated because the Police Officer who noted she had two children in the car, and was expecting a third, told her she should know speeding was dangerous.
The speeder was chasing a tow truck that had a clown-like minivan on the back. As she said, "My kids said, that has to be a clown. Get it, Mom. That's why I was speeding. I was just appeasing my children."
She went on to say "Had it (the tow truck) not been there, I wouldn't have been speeding."

AHA! It wasn't her fault. It was the tow truck's fault.

Is this not a perfect example of our "nothing is my fault, blame somebody else" mentality we Americans seem to have developed?

Poor Jim Black

2007-07-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

Poor Jim Black went to prison today. He was the victim of circumstances. He only made one mistake. He got caught taking bribes.

This only proves what most of us have known for years. Here in NC, we have the best damn government that corporate money can buy.

I'm sure the Optometry Association (Jim was one of their stellar members) can put a different spin on this. They will say that, by coincidence, they made campaign contributions to a member of the legislature who they "thought" "might" support legislation in which they had an interest. To put it in a different view, they were buying legislation that would benefit them. Look at the record. Unfortunately, their point man got caught. Tough!

Wonder who will be next? There are lots of phony campaign contributions floating around the capital.

HUPAD

2007-07-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

I was almost run over in the parking lot of the Post Office. The would-be assassin was a little old lady holding her cell phone with one hand, gesturing wildly with the other. I guess she was steering the car with her knees, not very successfully. I managed to leap out of the way, and watched her bounce off a concrete block before finally negotiating the exit.

Since then, on two occasions, I have watched women trying to load heavy sacks of groceries with one hand while yakking on a cell phone. Had I been a real gentleman, I would have offered to help them, except I didn't want to be associated with anyone that stupid. What I really wanted to do was yell "Hang up the phone, you stupid *&^%$*. You can call back later." Instead I drove off shaking my head at the thought how some people can't seem to exist unless they are talking on the phone.

I'm tired of dodging erratic drivers on the streets who are so busy talking they can't pay attention to their driving. Goodness knows, we have enough drivers around here who, even though they may keep both hands on the steering wheel, havn't yet mastered the concept of signal lights. If they are on their cell phones, there is no way they can signal. I often think cities should post large signs on every street, saying WARNING Drive at your own risk--Cell phone users also drive on these streets.

I want a large bumper sticker that says HUPAD meaning Hang Up and Pay Attention to Driving.

Islam

2006-08-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

Why is that most people do not understand, or even comprehend the problem with radical Islam?

If you go back in history about 1,200 years ( to 800 AD or so) you would find that Arabian mathematicians, philosophers, astrnomers and poets had produced many, many creative ideas. But what have they done since? Nothing.

The only scientists produced by the Islamic countries are all in the US. They don't want to go back where their research would be subjagated to fundamentalist Islamic law.

The rulers of these areas look around and what do they find? They have oil, which brings wealth, but not respect. They realize they are falling behind. Even India, which they despise, produces much more scientific work than all of the Islamic countries.

But, then, what can you expect from an area that ignores over 50% of their brain-power? They want their women to be veiled, fully covered in public, and to stay at home and have babies.

Their men can't compete with the rest of the world. They are too busy blowing themselves up.
Any country or region that considers memorizing the Koran as the epitome of education is doomed to eventual failure.

What we need to do is to seek out and kill all the hotheads now, and let the rest rot on the vine.

I'm back!

2006-08-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

For better or worse, I can now return to my blog. A long bout of poor health has kept me off the airways. I'm now again ready to give The Resident Curmudgeon's view on about everything.

Is there anything dumber than the continuing posturing about stem cell research? I absolutely cannot understand the fundamentalist's position. Why is it OK to "discard" (that means do away with, or destroy them or trash them or whatever) embryos created in a fertility clinic, but not to destroy embryos created for stem cell research? In the one case it is OK, but in the other case it is abortion. BALDERDASH! Such embryos are no invivo, and in no way are human organisms at that stage.

More and more I am convinced our President is a total dunce, and should return to Texas where he can have tea with Molly Ivins, and try to raise cattle. He hasn't done anything else right.

Redundant objects

2006-02-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

Here in the South, we often hear redundant objects used in everyday speech. For example, we will hear something like "I need to buy me some new shoes," or "I need to go out to the college and take me some courses." In both cases, the 'me' is totally unnecessary. The sentence makes sense without it.
This usage is rather comical. Would you take courses for some else or buy shoes for another person? It is just a little quirk of southern speech.