The Resident Curmudgeon

cur mud geon [origin unknown]

Archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered old man.

Modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

I have often been asked how I became the Resident Curmudgeon. It is simple. This is an elected position, but it requires only a plurality of votes. I didn't tell anyone when the election would be held. That way, I was the only candidate, and my vote was sufficient. Now, as the incumbent, I hold the position for life. I have rewritten the by-laws to now stipulate that if there is an incumbent, he will determine when a new election will be held.

Guess when that election will be? That's correct. When I am cold in the grave, then everyone can fight over the position.

If you want to be the next Resident Curmudgeon, get in line, but prepare to be patient. I ain't dead yet!