HUPAD

I was almost run over in the parking lot of the Post Office. The would-be assassin was a little old lady holding her cell phone with one hand, gesturing wildly with the other. I guess she was steering the car with her knees, not very successfully. I managed to leap out of the way, and watched her bounce off a concrete block before finally negotiating the exit.

Since then, on two occasions, I have watched women trying to load heavy sacks of groceries with one hand while yakking on a cell phone. Had I been a real gentleman, I would have offered to help them, except I didn't want to be associated with anyone that stupid. What I really wanted to do was yell "Hang up the phone, you stupid *&^%$*. You can call back later." Instead I drove off shaking my head at the thought how some people can't seem to exist unless they are talking on the phone.

I'm tired of dodging erratic drivers on the streets who are so busy talking they can't pay attention to their driving. Goodness knows, we have enough drivers around here who, even though they may keep both hands on the steering wheel, havn't yet mastered the concept of signal lights. If they are on their cell phones, there is no way they can signal. I often think cities should post large signs on every street, saying WARNING Drive at your own risk--Cell phone users also drive on these streets.

I want a large bumper sticker that says HUPAD meaning Hang Up and Pay Attention to Driving.