The Republican political platform

After much study and deliberation, I think I have finally deciphered exactly what the “dingbats” propose as their platform to govern the world.  While this is rather complicated, I have summarized it in order to spell out the most important planks.

ECONOMICS: The dingbats don’t actually believe in any accepted economic theory, except for their one guiding principle.  That is expressed as “Trickle Down.”  If big business, big banks, and very rich people are allowed to operate without any form of regulation or restriction, then they will make scads of money.  Eventually, although really not necessary, some of this will trickle down to the working class.  (Note: the dingbats would really like to do away with the entire working class, as thee people make a lot of noise demanding food, shelter and other minimal necessities of life.  However, the dingbats realize that they cannot totally eliminate this class.  After all, somebody has to clean house, mow the lawn and tend the flower gardens.) We have seen evidence that the “trickle down theory of economics” does work, at least for the working classes in China, India, Vietnam, etc.  This is where the wealthy dingbats have moved their businesses in order to make even more scads of money.

WOMEN:  The dingbat’s program is simple.  “Woman’s place is in the kitchen, and she should go there immediately after returning from work.”  Being barefoot and pregnant is optional. The man of the house will make all decisions.

EDUCATION: Extensive education for the masses is totally unnecessary.  For the working classes, a minimal ability to read, write and do a few sums is all that is required.  For the limited middle class that will be necessary to run the grocery stores, dress shops and other such amenities important to the elite, a couple years more should suffice.  For the children of the elite, of course, higher education is required to polish their social skills.  This will be in private schools, preferably those with some religious affiliation. This will be funded via a voucher system.  However, this is certainly not to be considered an entitlement, but more a necessity to insure that the leaders for the future have the proper foundations.

MINORITIES: Afro Americans and Hispanics are expected to work in the fields, picking cotton, harvesting grapes or other necessary menial labor. A great part of this labor will be devoted to completing the massive fence along our border with Mexico. All Hispanics lacking the “proper” proof of citizenship will be immediately deported.

VOTING: In general, only the elite (those with some established income level and/or position of importance) will have voting rights.  Preferably voting should be restricted to males, as they are the only persons with the necessary understanding of the complexities involved, but exceptions will be made to accommodate those females with sufficient income or position.  Also, a minimal number of the middle class will be granted this privilege, but only white males who own property.

TAXES: All taxes, local, state and federal, will be held to the absolute minimum, especially to those of the elite.  The bulk of tax revenue must come from the middle and working classes. If this does not generate enough revenue to maintain the essential government services, then other means of revenue will be found.

GOVERNMENT: Ideally, there should be only a minimum of government.  There are certain functions, such as fire and police protection, that are necessary to protect the person and property of the elite.  But, many of the other departments and operations should be abolished.  The fact that this will cause many thousand to suddenly become unemployed does not seem to be a determining factor. 

HEALTH CARE: The dingbats are fiercely against the Affordable Care Act.  They will do almost anything to abolish it.  But, they have yet to say what they want to replace it.  Apparently they believe that nothing is required.  They, the elite, all have great medical insurance, so they don’t have to worry about this. For all the rest, tough! Medicare and Medicaid are too expensive for the minimum remaining government to support, so anyone who cannot afford the outrageous policies now available also cannot go to the emergency rooms, as that is a tax burden.  Maybe they should just die by the side of the road. 

NATIONAL DEBT: Not a problem.  We’ll just default and tell all our creditors “tough!” After all, we would have to extract more tax revenue from the elite in order to pay down the debt. That is a no-no!

ARMED FORCES:  We must have a strong Army!  However, this poses a problem. Armies and Navies, Air Forces, Marines etc.  are expensive to maintain. One solution might be to re-institute the draft.  As government activities are shut down all over America, there will be thousands out of work.  Many of these will be young and fit enough to serve as perpetual Privates. There will be no promotions as that would increase the cost. But, after all, our need will be for cannon fodder.  Leadership will come from the elite.

GOVERNMENT SPENDING:  This must be reduced drastically.  Nothing is sacred.  Everything must be cut, except, of course, for those pet projects by various members of congress necessary to ensure their reelection.  These will be funded, financed by some source of revenue not yet determined.

If you think all this sounds totally preposterous then you haven’t been paying attention. Listen to what is being said at the dingbat fund-raisers, where they are talking to their loyal followers.  It is frightening!