Friday, May 09, 2008

A puzzlement

There are many things in this world that puzzle me. I catch myself saying “Why do they do that?”

Puzzlement #1: On the interstate highways in Virginia, there are signs, which say “Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft.” Now this puzzles me! They don’t say speed limit monitored or detected by aircraft, but enforced by aircraft!

Just what does that mean-enforced by aircraft? Every time I see that sign, I always imagine a Virginia State Trooper on the radio talking to a Virginia Air National Guard plane. “Hey, Charley, we got a white SUV doing 77 at mile marker 284. What ordinance you got on board?” “Napalm?” Nah, that’s too messy. Got any rockets?” “All right, we’ll teach that rascal not to speed in Virginia. Hit him with a rocket and I’ll call in the wrecker.” If that is what they mean by enforced, then it kinda makes you want to obey the speed limit, doesn’t it?

Puzzlement #2: I have some golfer friends who claim the only reason they play golf is for the exercise. Now golfers, like fishermen, have been known to stretch the truth a bit. But if they are only after the exercise, why is it that every one of them will almost kill for the opportunity to park next to the pro shop, where they will have the shortest walk to their golf cart, which they will then drive around the course so they can get their exercise. I must be stupid, but I don’t think getting in and out of a golf cart really qualifies as high intensity exercise. If they really just wanted to get some exercise, why don’t they park far away in the parking lot and carry their bags to the 1st tee? Even better, why don’t they walk around the course?

I think that I already know the answer. Walking would take too long. They must get their exercise in a short period of time. Of course, 15 minutes on a treadmill will do that. But then whoever said golfers were rationale?

Puzzlement #3: Why do joggers insist on running in the street, when there is a perfectly good sidewalk available?

I actually have an answer for this one. A jogging friend of mine told me the secret. Of course, anything a jogger says is suspect. Anyone who willingly moves faster than a slow walk when there is not a sheriff’s posse chasing them probably should not be believed. But anyway, he said that if you run on the sidewalk, there are driveways and other surface imperfections, and you might turn an ankle.

Now, let’s see if I understand this. Rather than run on the sidewalk, where you might turn an ankle, it is better to run in the street where you can get hit by a car? Now that is a puzzlement!

But then that’s the view of the Resident Curmudgeon.

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