Saturday, March 05, 2005

Minding my own business

Nothing yanks my chain worse than people who who consider themselves so perfect they can afford the luxury of letting their own business go on automatic so they have the time to worry about my business. I know many of these people think it is their God given mission on this earth to reform others, in particular to reform me.

I encountered one of these today. I was in the grocery store, and my cart was loaded with several brands of beer, as I was stocking up for a party. This little old prim, pious and petulant lady in line behind me sniffed a few times, put on her most holy face and said "I think it is just scandalous for you to waste your money of those vile things. Your body is a holy temple, and you should respect it. All that is the work of the Devil!" You can see immediately what kind of 'kook' I was dealing with.

Up until then, it had been a nice day. I didn't want to spoil the day, so I was tempted to just ignore the sanctimonious old bitch, but decided she needed to be zinged a bit. So, putting on a sweet smile, I replied "Madam, I sure you have many virtues, and I am equally sure I have many faults. But, I have one virtue that goes far to atone for my many faults. On the other hand, you have one fault that totally wipes out all your virtues-real or imagined. Do you know what that is? My one virtue, Madam, is that I mind my own business. I wish the hell you would also."

With that, I went about my business of checking out, and let her standing with her mouth open. God, that felt good!

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